out to Vancouver, British Columbia
to see a specialist in
chronic pain. He made the diagnosis
of CRPS but he couldn't
treat me.
It had been almost two years
since the surgery at this point.
The pain and symptoms were
getting worse, and I had lost all
function in my left hand. The
specialist I saw in B.C. referred
me back to a colleague in Regina.
After the Diagnosis
I could no longer work. It felt as
if the revolving door of doctor’s
offices was never going to end.
My frustration continued to grow
and I kept pushing down the fear,
helplessness, and anger I was
feeling inside. My emotional/
mental health was starting to
really affect me in a negative
way.
This is where having support
groups or different programs set
up through our healthcare system
would have been of huge benefit.
In my province, however, they
are essentially non-existent.
When it came to
my mental health I
was left to deal with it by myself.
On my own I found support
through online communities and
groups. This is where I think the
system really let me down.
Every day I was growing more
desperate because the pain was
reaching intolerable levels. I remember
thinking why can't I just
close my eyes and make this all
go away? In my mind I was saying
anything was better than the
quality of life that I had at that
moment. Yes, I was thinking
about suicide because I was that
desperate, and in that much pain
mentally and physically! There
was no falling any lower because
I was already at rock bottom. To
this day it isn't easy for me to
talk about wanting to end my
life.
It was clear that the only way I
was going to get the help I needed
was to be my own advocate.
Eventually, I would find myself a
good psychologist that started
working on everything that was
broken inside me.
My diagnosis made finding treatment
much more difficult.
(Connued on page 20)
Internaonal Pain Foundaon—21