RELAX
The Lighter Side
(Possibly Real) Quotes from
Tech Leaders By Anthony Elio
Thought leaders. Tech influencers. Digital gurus. These are all empty buzzwords used to describe the famed entrepreneurs
that dominate headlines, Forbes lists, and tax brackets. And, because of their massive success, these leaders of the tech
space are known for their words of wisdom that will undoubtedly be misquoted, slapped onto a stock image, and shared
on social media. With that in mind, here are some possibly iconic quotes that might be accurate from these masters of
industry.
72 Residential Tech Today | July/August 2019
“By reading this sentence, you
agree to allow access to your
search history, credit data,
contact list, and physical
measurements to personalize the
experience of future sentences.”
– Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook
“ Trade you this
bus transfer for
50 cents.”
– Tim Armstrong,
AOL
“ Personally, I find air travel to be far too expensive. So, when
I need to leave the house, I’ll generally ask one of my friends
with Amazon Prime to order a package from me. After
properly packaging myself, within two business days I’m at
their house and ready to hit the town.”
– Jeff Bezos, Amazon
“ Sean Parker is wearing
my suit?”
– Jack Dorsey, Twitter
“ People tend to take my social media
way too seriously. For example, I once
joked that the newest Tesla model would
run purely on gravy. That’s preposterous.
Standard country gravy doesn’t have the
consistency to properly fuel a vehicle
such as the Tesla. Hollandaise might
work though.”
– Elon Musk, Tesla
“ In order to access this quote, you will need to
upgrade your current mobile device to an iPhone
XR, establish a strong Wi-Fi connection, and
download update 3.5.7.”
– Tim Cook, Apple
“ A lot of people think that Napster
allowed for music theft, but I
found our file sharing network to
be more of a form of borrowing.
In fact, everything I own is
borrowed. My entire music
collection? Borrowed through
Napster. This watch? Borrowed
it from the lost & found. This suit?
Borrowed it from Jack Dorsey.”
– Sean Parker, Napster
Photos: iStock.com/stevanovicigor
Photos: iStock.com/BWFolsom
Photos: iStock.com/PashaIgnatov
Photos: iStock.com/baona Photos: iStock.com/AnthonyRosenberg
Photos: iStock.com/ljphoto7
Photos: iStock.com/WillSelarep
/stevanovicigor
/BWFolsom
/PashaIgnatov
/baona
/AnthonyRosenberg
/ljphoto7
/WillSelarep