Bartender Chronicles By a Back River Bartender
You know its September on Tybee when things start to slow down at the bars and restaurants. Some co-workers and I had an amusing conversation this
week, reminiscing about some of the more memorable questions and comments this year from tourists. I absolutely love tourists, they pay my bills and allow
me to live on this beautiful Island. It is with much appreciation and amusement that I share these questions and comments made to us bartenders (and
servers) that are real head scratchers. Also, many thanks to my co-workers and friends that bartend and/or serve here on Tybee. They contributed tons of
hysterical interactions with tourists while working. Enjoy!
• This first one is repeated almost daily at my particular bar and it never fails to make me wonder what kind of brain fart prompts them to ask me…
Tourist: What time do the dolphins come out?
Me: I do not know, let’s call them on their shell phone.
• Tourist: Will my shell vibrate when my table’s ready? (a basic seashell with a number written in marker on it)
Me: Uhhhhh, no. No it won’t. They will call the number on the shell.
• Tourist: Is the Snow Crab local?
(A server had a great response) Server: Yes they are, they actually fly them in daily by sea plane from Alaska. It lands right here beside our dock.
Me: Uhhhhh, no. They are SNOW Crab.
• Tourist: It’s our first time here, how many crabs come in the half dozen crab bucket?
(Another server contribution) Server: Uhhh, 6.
• Tourist: What lake is that (while pointing at the Back River)?
Me: It’s the Back River idiot (ok, so I said idiot only in my mind).
• Tourist (walking in the door from outside and its 100 degrees): Is it hot out there (as they point to the outside seating area)?
Me: Yup. It’s hot but you can’t beat the view dumbass (dumbass was only in my head).
• Tourist: Is the seaweed salad really seaweed?
Me: Yep, it sure is.
• Tourist: Where did all the water go?
Me: Its low tide, the water is low at low tide.
• Tourist: What time is sunset?
Me: Google it, I do not know exactly, as it changes slightly each day.
• Tourist: Is that wheat over there (pointing to the marsh grass)?
Me: NO, that’s not wheat.
• Tourist: Are there any bugs out there?
Me: Yup. Sure are.
• My favorite tourist comment this year was made to a server where I bartend. We have fresh head on shrimp when they are in season.
Tourist: Do you guys really tie a string to every single shrimp?
Server: String?
Tourist: (Holds up a head on shrimp by the antennae)
Server: Uh, no. Those are the antennae.
In closing, one more shout out to Tybee tourists who obviously speak without thinking about the questions they ask or comments they make. We couldn’t sling
drinks on Tybee without y’all!
10 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | SEPT 2019