Once Upon a Time … In Hollywood
So, first, I am de-freaking-lighted to be back writing a movie review!!! It is actually the reason I signed up for this gig to begin with. Not only that, but
it’s been literally forever since I’ve had an opportunity to opine on my favorite subject: what I think about things. That having been barfed out, let’s
get to it - Once Upon a Time … In Hollywood.
Right out of the gate before you even watch the opening credits, get rid of everything you are preconceiving… from every Tarantino film, to Charles
Manson’s legacy, to Sharon Tate. Then, take a nap for the first 2 hours of this movie. I know! It has Leo and Brad (DiCaprio and Pitt for those that
have just arrived to this century) and those two are brilliant actors! Well, they are still brilliant actors in this movie, but it was like watching a blog of
two of your best friends trying to entertain each other with beer pong, but the beer was water, so no one really tried to get the pong into the ‘beer.’
So, still fun but completely irrelevant to everything.
Here’s the deal: The movie is two hours and 45 minutes long. Leo plays Rick Dalton, an actor, and Brad is his long-time stunt double and bff, Cliff
Booth. Rick lives next door to Sharon Tate/Roman Polanski and Cliff is a totally extreme, bizarre friend of one of the Manson people, which turns
out to have nothing to do with anything, other than a trip to the Spahn Ranch where Manson’s cult lives. Margo Robbie plays Sharon Tate, and she
is perfect in looks for the role, but they didn’t give her much of a dialog and seemed almost an afterthought, which is off for Tarantino. Kurt Russell
has a weird cameo and does the voice over dialog, which was cool. I guess. When I woke up, the credits were near to rolling, and everyone was still
alive. I won’t give the ending away, but it was in pure Tarantino style.
I give this movie 2 bottles of 1928 Krug at a mere $21,200 per bottle, because Leo and Brad are very good. 1 bottle of J. Roget Brut (currently running
at $2.79 per bottle), because Tarantino is getting soft (I’m sorry, Drex, but you and I both know it), 1 bottle of 1959 Dom Perignon ($42,350 per bottle)
because Kurt Russell whispering in my ear is the next best thing to Morgan Freeman, and 1 bottle of 1996 Dom Perignon Rose Gold Methuselah at
the el cheapo price of $49,000 because the Tybee Post Theater is the best place on the planet to watch a movie!
40 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | SEPT 2019
MOVIE REVIEW
By Alaina Loughridge