TYBEE ISLAND
By By Paul Paul Cales Cales & Becca
Continued from the Aug. 2019 Beachcomber.
Catch up @ http://tybeebeachcomber.com/magazine
CHAPTER 26 – TOILET WATER - THE NEW FINE WINE
DAY 9
“Where the hell did he come from?!” Johnny exclaims.
“I don’t know,” Joey says. “But I’m sure glad he didn’t get me.”
“Well it’s not over yet, he’s still moving around over there,” Tony says.
“I guess I’ll handle this for you boys,” Becky says, and raises her 9mm
pistol. When she squeezes the trigger a perfect round hole appears in the
center of the zeek’s forehead and he slumps to the floor.
“Damn,” Joey says. “You’re getting pretty good at that.”
“I wish I didn’t have to get good at this sort of thing, but it seems that it
is out of our control.”
“Back to business,” Tony says, and turns back to Sara. “First of all, are
you okay? Secondly, how the hell did you end up in jail? Third… I sure am
glad to see your face Mrs. Sara Spicer-Henderson, or Henderspice, as my
friend Joey likes to call you.”
“I’m fine, it was definitely my husband’s fault. And thanks, Tony, it’s good
to see your face as well. The water in the toilet is all but gone and I thought
I was going to die of dehydration before anyone could find me.”
“Well let’s work on getting you out of that cell and then you can tell us
all about why you got locked up in the first place,” Becky says, and starts
looking around.
“Barney, the Zombie Fife over there, has keys on him,” Sara says.
“They’re in his left front pocket.”
Tony retrieves the keys and unlocks the cell door, letting Sara out. “Wait
a sec,” he says. “Are there any more surprises running around in here?”
“No, he was the only one. I’m assuming there’s a lot of those things
running around outside the police station then?”
“Pretty much everyone is one of those things,” Johnny says.
“That’s just dreadful, but I kind of expected that, since no one has
checked on me in nine days.”
“How did you end up in here?” Becky asks.
“Well, I was at Huc A Poos hanging out. Mike was working and some
daft twat started biting him on the neck. Now, normally I’m not opposed
to that sort of behavior. I mean, who doesn’t like a little slap and tickle?
But I prefer to be the one who’s biting Mike, not some chompy floosy… I
mean the nerve of some people. She just flew in out of the nowhere and
went after Mike. I wasn’t having any of that, so I picked up a fork from the
server’s station, grabbed her shoulder, swung her around, and stabbed the
28 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | SEPT 2019
ISLAN
bitch in her freaky yellow and red eye. Before I knew it, I was on the ground
in handcuffs and being carted off to jail.”
“Yellow and red eyes? What time was this?” Tony asks.
“About 2 or 2:30 in the morning. Why?”
“Because you may have witnessed the initial outbreak at Poos.”
“Damn… You think she was a zombie?”
“Have you ever seen anyone act like that before?” Tony asks.
“I mean, it is Mike Henderson we’re talking about here. Who knows what
he did to provoke that twat.”
“If that twat was infected, that means that…” Becky trails off,
uncomfortable voicing her thought to someone still coming to terms with
their new reality.
“That means that we need to get the hell out of here,” Tony says, and
breaks what could have been a very uncomfortable silence. “We definitely
don’t want to worry Cheryl.”
“NO, WE DON’T,” Johnny says and marches back to the jeep with
everyone behind him. They all load into the jeep and Joey begins driving
toward Hwy 80.
“Do you think we could ride by Poos just to make sure there’s no one
there?” Sara asks.
“Sure thing. We’ll pull up into the five-dollar warehouse and look over
the fence,” Tony says, and Joey does exactly that. Tony and Sara jump out
of the jeep. “Let’s be really quiet,” says Tony, as they creep around the side
of the warehouse and look over the fence.
“I really can’t see anything from here,” Sara says.
“Yeah, we need a better vantage point. At least we don’t see any
creatures wandering around,” says Tony.
“I was kind of hoping to see one with a fork sticking out of her eye. I did
have to drink toilet water for nine damn days because of that bitch,” says
Sara.
“Wait a sec, do you see someone at the top of the ramp next to the
outside bar?” asks Tony.
“All I can see is the top… wait, that’s got to be Eric. Who else is gonna
wear a red bandana during the zombie apocalypse?” Sara replies.
“Let’s get back to the jeep and plan a better recon. Hopefully they’ve
secured Poos and the Poo Crew is still intact,” Tony says. They fill the group
in on the possible Eric sighting and head back to the house.
As they pull up, Joey breaks the silence, “Damn. I missed those tanks
while we were gone.”
“You were gone for two hours, Joey,” Cheryl says, and sips her coffee.
“Geeze. Go ahead and jump in then. Relieve Rudy from guard duty.”
“Yessssss,” Joey exclaims like a seven-year-old kid who woke up on
Christmas morning to the bike he’s been begging for all year. Everyone
watches him squeeze into the tank as Rudy makes his way toward the
group.
“Sara Spicer-Henderson!” he says, as he gets close. “How the hell are
you, cool chick?”
“Pretty good now that I’m out of the pokey. You guys have a pretty sweet
set up here. Tanks? Where the hell did you get tanks?”
“They were blocking the Bull River Bridge, and no one was around
sooo…” Tony says.
“Stuck in jail for nine days with no food or water?” Rudy asks. “What did
you do for nine days in a cell?”
“Well, I sipped toilet water like it was a fine wine and read the
Beachcomber magazine over and over and over again. You ever play those
silly little puzzles or quizzes in the back? They’re a lot of fun, and the cute
thing is that all the answers are hidden in the articles. How freaking cute.”
Rudy looks away from her to the group and fake whispers, “I can’t tell if
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