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Lessons & Letters
GO FIRM.
Sitting quietly in my own head space reflecting on 2019 and everything that occurred, I
have realized that I am starting out 2020 as a very different person than who I was this
time last year. Although the reflection in the mirror looks the same, despite some new
gray hairs, the person that I have become internally is very different. Rereading some of my
journal entries and 10 months of Lessons and Letters, it is very apparent that 2019 was a year
of cleaning out and cleaning up all areas of my life. Friendships were put to rest that needed to be
retired. My family dynamic was compartmentalized and is now finding itself working through the transitions.
Mentally, I let go of thoughts and people that were producing negative energies, forcing me to question myself
and leaving me unable to create. Emotionally, I made the decisions to burn bridges and to not bite my tongue,
despite societies rule on both metaphors, and then I chose to be at peace with those actions. I released myself
from chains that were holding me in places I didn’t want to be, with people I didn’t want to be with. I got closer
to God and learned that how I talk to Him best is not when I’m down on my knees, or in a church or with my eyes
closed. We hang out best when I’m in my car with a cigarette burning between my fingers, blue jeans and a tank
top on with the sunroof open and the radio off. We talk better and I listen closer when there isn’t a destination
in mind and time doesn’t exist, it’s just Him and me. I cleaned out my office of all energies that were not pushing
me forward and of all mentalities that didn’t have an inspired vision for Moxxie. I removed truckloads of “stuff”
from my house and finally got it to where everything I own has a place and a purpose. There is no more clutter.
Not in my home and not in my life. Simplified.
With all this complete, I realized that none of this was done gently. It was all done with purpose, intent, conviction
and absolute firmness. I learned that “beating around the bush” is a complete waste of time and energy and can
even be costly. However, being firm and brutally honest works. And it works fast. There is an immediate reaction
that occurs in the Universe when we go firm because there isn’t anything that’s left to question. It becomes
matter of fact, and matter of fact is hard to negotiate. I’ve learned that being firm in my decisions and actions
and movements allows for a rapid manifestations. The Universe explodes when I ask with passion and firmness.
It’s truly an incredible experience every time. But it requires firmness.
I have a beautiful Uncle that tells me all the time to go gentle. And I laugh. Perhaps going gentle works for
him, but I realized that for the two or three or four times that he goes gentle toward something or inside of a
conversation or decision, it takes him only one time to complete the same outcome when he goes firm. I wander
if he knows this. LOL!
So, my lessons in 2019 were many. My blessings in 2019 were even more and they continue to bloom every day.
Not because I go gently, but because I go firm.
So my prayer for all of you in 2020 is to Go Firm. .
Always Thankful!
Nikki White