University. “To adapt to a loss, a
person needs to accept its finality
and understand what it means to
them. They also have to find a way
to re-envision their life with possibilities
for happiness and for honoring
their enduring connection to
the person who died.”
Researchers like Lichtenthal
have found that finding meaning
in life after loss can help you
adapt. Connecting to those things
that are most important, including
the relationship with the person
who died, can help you co-exist
with the pain of grief.
Types of Grief
About 10% of bereaved people
experience complicated grief, a
46 Healthy Living | Fall Issue | 2017
condition that makes it harder
for some people to adapt to
the loss of a loved one. People
with this prolonged, intense
grief tend to get caught up in
certain kinds of thinking, says
Shear, who studies complicated
grief. They may think the
death did not have to happen
or happen in the way that it
did. They also might judge
their grief—questioning if it’s
too little or too much—and
focus on avoiding reminders
of the loss.
“It can be very discouraging
to experience complicated
grief, but it’s important not to
be judgmental about your grief
and not to let other people judge
you,” Shear explains.
Shear and her research team
created and tested a specialized
therapy for complicated grief in
three NIH-funded studies. The
therapy aimed to help people
identify the thoughts, feelings,
and actions that can get in the
way of adapting to loss. They
also focused on strengthening
one’s natural process of adapting
to loss. The studies showed that
70% of people taking part in the
therapy reported improved symptoms.
In comparison, only 30%
of people who received the standard
treatment for depression
had improved symptoms.
You may begin to feel the loss
of your loved one even before
their death. This is called anticipatory
grief. It’s common among
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