THREE
STEPS
to a New Man
by Harry Renta
There is a moment in time when a criminal’s heart turns cold and grows hard, and any sense
of right and wrong no longer exists. My own heart began its hardening process at the age of four
when I witnessed my first murder. That scene left an impression that would direct the course of my
life for many years. Other murders, drug activity, and sexual assaults that I witnessed in my youth
added more layers of evil until, eventually, my heart became stone cold.
I can still remember hearing the screams of women through the walls of my apartment as
they were being violated. Although a young boy, I knew it wasn’t right, but I was too scared to
do anything. People who interfered ended up dead. So, like many others, I looked the other way.
Eventually, the sounds faded into the background for me, until I didn’t even notice them anymore.
As sad as it is, all that evil just became a normal way of life.
In my preteen years, I discovered the world of hip-hop. I filled my mind with music glorifying
drug dealers, defiling women, and promoting a life of crime. I watched pornography and adult
movies. Little by little, I became numb to the images. Eventually, the music I listened to and the
movies I watched became my own reality. I became a character in my own crime series.
I was arrested for the first time at 18. I prided myself on getting out of sticky legal situations. I
should have served hard time on many occasions, but the prosecutor could never get the charges
to stick. I felt invincible and invisible. I started using drugs, and that added to my sense of being
unstoppable. I watched and learned how to deal drugs and steal from the best. And I became very
good at what I did, quickly gaining respect in the community.
I became involved with organized crime and aligned myself with influential people in the
kingdom of darkness. I was surrounded by people anxious to feed my dark side. And it grew.
My heart completely hardened while under the influence of drugs. No matter what drug they’re
using, when a person gets high, they open their mind to spirits that eventually take over their whole
being and deceive their mind. Under the influence of drugs, I functioned under the deception of
the power of darkness. There was no more sense of right or wrong. Everything became about me,
and in my eyes, the world owed me everything.
EVENTUALLY, THE
SOUNDS FADED INTO
THE BACKGROUND FOR
ME, UNTIL I DIDN’T EVEN
NOTICE THEM ANYMORE.
AS SAD AS IT IS, ALL THAT
EVIL JUST BECAME A
NORMAL WAY OF LIFE.
continued on page 16
Photography by Timothy Smith/Honor Photography kojministries.org Issue 4 2017 11
/kojministries.org