THREE STEPS | from page 11 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I had grown up poor and seen much injustice.
My parents were humble; they tried to do things
the right way, but all they got for their way of life
was heartache. That was not going to be me! Right
or wrong, I was going to have something tangible
to show for my life. My parents didn’t have $30
in savings. My lifestyle, however, rewarded me
with $20,000 to $30,000 dollars at a time. I
could spend thousands a day without even one
thought. And I spent much of that money trying
to satisfy my own cocaine addiction.
In my deception, I became paranoid.
Everywhere I looked, I thought people were after
me, judging me, or profiling me. If I got pulled
over, I knew it was because I was black. With
every arrest, I grew more and more angry. Every
white person I saw, I immediately assumed they
were against me and that they thought I was
beneath them. I lived in a constant state of anger,
mad at the whole world.
Somehow during this time, I met an amazing
woman who eventually became my wife and
the mother of my children. She was the good
girl; I was the bad guy. She was going to college
and had big goals; I had no goals except to be a
powerful drug dealer. She looked to the future
with excitement; I didn’t know if I’d live past
the next day. I’m not sure how we ended up
together, except by God’s grace in my life.
My drug use wreaked havoc on our marriage,
and we quickly divorced. A short time after our
divorce, however, we started talking on the
phone again and realized we still had feelings
for one another. We remarried, but the hurt we
brought back into the marriage made
reconciliation and healing
MAYBE LIKE ME, YOU’VE LIVED A
LIFE OF CRIME. YOU’VE HEARD AND
SEEN SO MUCH EVIL THAT YOU’VE
GROWN NUMB TO IT. OR MAYBE
YOU HAVEN’T SEEN EVIL, BUT
YOU’VE LIVED UNDER THE WEIGHT
OF THE FEAR OF EVIL EVERY DAY OF
YOUR LIFE. REGARDLESS OF YOUR
PAST, IT’S TIME TO BE FREE.
impossible. That is, until the Lord Jesus Christ
intervened in our lives through the loving words
of a little old lady.
For the sake of my marriage, I was working as
an insurance agent, trying to give the impression
that I was a law-abiding citizen. It was a front.
I had one foot in the legal world and one foot
in the illegal world. All that changed, however,
when Maria called the office and asked to meet
with an agent about an insurance policy.
I tried several times to make an appointment
with her, but for months, we played phone
tag and even missed set appointments. It was
so frustrating. I struggled to keep pursuing the
policy. It didn’t help that my head wasn’t really in
the insurance game—all I could think about was
being a hot-shot criminal. I liked the life of crime,
but for some reason, I felt drawn to go see her.
At the time, I thought it was my desire to close a
deal. (As a drug dealer, you never let a sale pass
you
by.) I know now that it was the Spirit of God
drawing me to this lady’s home.
Finally, on November 12, Maria and I met
face to face. I walked into her home, high as
a kite, and got ready to go into “sell policy
mode.” But when I opened my mouth, I started
talking about myself. I poured my guts out to this
lady whom I had never met before, all the while
weeping. I was a sight!
She was so gracious. “Harry,” she said, “you
didn’t come here today to sell me a policy. You
came to meet Jesus.” I ignored what she said and
tried to get back to selling the insurance policy.
We ended up writing the plan, but I have no
idea how that policy ever went through. I was so
messed up, I had written it all wrong!
I thanked Maria for the policy purchase and
turned to walk out the door. I can still see her
standing there saying, “Harry, I am going to ask
you one more time, do you want to reconcile
yourself with the Lord?”
I looked at the door, a mere three steps
away, and then I looked at her. I thought of the
tremendous void in my life, the pain, and all the
pride. My whole life had been about me, and I
was exhausted. I didn’t want that life any more.
“Let’s do it,” I replied through tears. I have to
laugh—of all the grand words I could have used
in that moment of surrender to Jesus Christ, “let’s
do it” was the best I could come up with. I didn’t
even know what “let’s do it” meant. All I knew
was that I needed Jesus to lift the weight of hate
and anger from my shoulders. I had carried it too
long.
This precious lady began praying, and warmth
poured over me. I’d never experienced anything
like it. When I got in the car, I grabbed my phone
and called my sister, who is a believer. She was on
a cruise, but miraculously her phone rang, even
at sea. When she answered, the power of God
came over me so powerfully, and a violent cry
came out of my soul. Years of pain escaped from
my heart. That moment completely changed my
whole life.
healing
d
continued on page 19
Think About This... by Harry Renta
I grew numb to evil. I could pull a gun, point it at a stranger’s face, and never think twice. Have
you ever considered that, as a believer, you can grow numb and cold to the Holy Spirit? You can fall
prey to the routine of religion, become lukewarm, and totally miss the power of the Gospel. Don’t be
someone who has knowledge of scripture but no outflow and power. God is ready to work in you
and through you, but you must wake up and be willing to be shaken up!
I was a successful drug dealer. I had the gift of gab and could close any sale. But I took the gifts
God gave me to use for His glory and used them instead for the kingdom of darkness. God made
16 kojministries.org Issue 4 2017
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