32 kojministries.org Issue 4 2017
You Can
Be Free by Jamie Dawn Selkey
For many years, I struggled with addictions
and mental disease. In 2007, I stood before a
judge who gave me a chance to receive mental
treatment; if I completed the program, I wouldn’t
have to serve my 15-year sentence. I completed
the program and upon my release went to live in
a halfway house. While there, I was beaten and
raped. Because of that trauma, I ended up back
in a psych ward.
Upon graduating a second time from the
mental institution, I went to live in Tennessee
with my big sister and her husband, both of
whom are godly people. I fulfilled my after-care
requirements at the church.
I attended church regularly, prayed, and
attended various group meetings. I even
surrounded myself with Christian people. I did
everything I thought I was supposed to do, as
I desperately wanted to do right. But I was so
lost. I really thought I knew God because I knew
His people. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t
know God at all. I had never sought a personal
relationship with Him.
Why? I really didn’t trust Him. Deep in my
heart, I didn’t believe He would set me free from
my addictions. I didn’t have faith in His Word.
Sure, I had religious routine, but it only kept me
in bondage.
My kids came to visit me in Tennessee. I was
so grateful for my time together with them. On
July 23, 2009, I drove to Florida to return my kids
to their dad. Never could I have known that that
would be our last hug and kiss. I said goodbye
and went to a local bar to find my parents; both
are addicts. I told my mom and dad I hated
them and the home environment in which I was
raised. I resented them with a passion.
Three nights later, I was found cracked out,
beaten, and raped, with a razor blade lodged in
my throat. When I came out of surgery, I was
arrested and charged with first-degree attempted
murder. I was facing a life sentence. At that
moment, I gave up on life. I had tried and tried
to “do right,” to no avail. I blamed God for my
being in and out of confinement. I just wanted
to die. I attempted suicide, and I would have
succeeded had the authorities not found me so
quickly.
Under arrest in the hospital, I remember
looking up at the doctor who was holding my
bleeding neck; my slit wrists were tied together.
And in that moment, I heard the Lord’s voice say
to me: “I love you. Turn to Me.”
And I did. For the first time in my life, I turned
to God and totally surrendered to Jesus. I started
seeking Him for myself. Since turning to Him, I’ve
never cut myself again. The Lord has truly taken
care of me just as Psalm 27:10 says: “Even if my
father and mother abandon me, the Lord will
hold me close.” God has never forsaken me.
I don’t know how much longer I will be
behind bars. I trust God’s timing. While I wait,
I will continue to believe that God is able to
restore all that I’ve lost. I will live for God’s glory
and spread His Word through my poetry. Here is
one such poem. I hope you enjoy it.
You Can
Be Free
The love of Jesus is abundant,
His loving Word is true.
Leading you and guiding you,
In everything you do.
I thank the Lord for this every day,
On my knees, faithfully to Him I pray.
His love endures forever,
His love strengthens me.
He gives me hope for the future
He will set me free.
I just want to spread the Word
As He places it upon my heart,
For Jesus is the only way,
His love will never part.
Turn to Him in sadness,
Anger or despair.
When life’s troubles seem cruel and unfair
He will stand beside you,
He will see you through.
I’m here to tell you, my friend,
Jesus Christ loves you.
Give Him a chance.
Turn to Him and see
That even inside your prison walls,
You too can still be free.
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