Toni Turner
Blessed Us: March 30, 1954
Blessed Heaven: March 2, 2019
Toni Turner left us after an extremely short illness that leaves many people
heartbroken and shocked by the flat unfairness of Life. Having worked at
Tybrisa Beach Resort for 28 years, two of them as the General Manager,
everyone far and wide is feeling the loss of a truly good spirit. Toni was
one of those legitimate people that would do anything for you. Honest.
Straightforward. Would never hold a grudge. A great listener. However, don’t
piss her off!!! She would not get even; she’d get one up!
Forrest Gump once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know
what you’re gonna get.” Nothing could be truer about the life of our dear
friend Toni. Imagine one of those chocolate sampler boxes you see around
the holidays. Our Toni was one of these boxes.
Her outside was bright with a clear identity. You knew exactly what she
was all about from the moment you saw her style and her smile. When you
open that box, there’s a thin liner to protect the precious cargo. Toni protected
those she loved and kept up a thin layer of protection for herself; one that
was easily removed by anyone willing to get to know her.
Like the caramel, Toni stuck around in the lives of everyone she met,
leaving an impression impossible to remove. Like the toffee crunch, she
could be tough if she needed to be. Like the nut cluster, she was a bit nutty
from time to time, having fun as often as possible. Like the cherry cordial,
she could be sweet or sour, depending on how right or wrong she perceived
something to be. Like the peanut butter cup, she was smooth in her delivery
of kind, but honest words.
Toni’s life was like a box of chocolates. We may not have always known
what quirky thing she’d say, but we always knew one thing for sure: Time
with Toni was sweet, something we wanted to keep for only ourselves, but
we couldn’t help but share with others.
Toni will be greatly missed, she will never be forgotten and will always be
remembered in the hearts of all who knew her. Toni loved her family. Her son,
Preston, and her siblings were very close and important to her. Please keep
her family in your thoughts and prayers.
14 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | MAY 2019
By Jimmy Prosser
Once again I am tasked with providing my ardent advent fans with
information they don’t need to know. This month we’re getting
serious and talking about conspiracy theories, so take the aluminum
foil hat off your head, grab your red string, head to the nearest cork
board and get ready to make some connections. We’re going to start
off with a man on the moon!
• Picture it, not earth - 1969. Everyone is here, except Buzz Aldrin
and Neil Armstrong. But who filmed it?
• Big Foot - An elusive mystical woodland creature who stands over
9 feet tall or a giant monster truck? Either way, only ever captured
on film by drunk hillbillies.
• The Loch Ness Monster - Maybe she’s just a pile of garbage,
literal garbage, not personality wise.
• Al Gore and his most famous invention, the Internet - Had
Monica only known, she wouldn’t have gone home with Bill.
• Global Warming - Have you been outside lately?
• Jimmy Hoffa - The best kept secret in Michigan. P.S. Did you
know his middle name is Riddle?
• Elvis Presley and Jim Morrison - If they’re really dead why do I
keep seeing them on twitter?
• JFK and The Grassy Knoll - I C.I. A problem with this assassination.
• Flat Earth - If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed
everything off by now.
• Tybee Bomb - Dangerous nuclear war head buried in shallow
sand or a dormant tall tale?
These are the questions we may never have answers to. How can
we all sleep at night never knowing?
I guess vodka helps.