BAD ADVICE
FROM A
FLOR-IDIOT
By Jimmy Prosser
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | NOV 2020 17
Tybee Teeth is so thankful for our
patients and having the opportunity
to serve the Tybee Community!
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!
TybeeTeeth.com
At Tybee Teeth, we treat every patient who comes in our door as family
and a friend. We want everyone to have the best experience with the
most ideal dental care possible. We would love to take care of all your
dental needs. Feel free to call and ask questions or stop by to meet us.
Emergency appointments and visitors welcome!
1018 US Hwy 80 • Tybee Island • 912-786-9433
This month’s question is brought to us
anonymously by Michael Crosby who wished
to remain anonymous. Something about baby
proofing your house for drunk people (or yourself).
Great question anonymous question asker.
• On to your biggest problem and also the litttlest known fact is that
the garbage disposal is the most dangerous hole in your house. We all
have them, well, people with disposable income have them (heck that
pun went over my head too). You could lose a finger in there, or a foot.
Even a rabbit.
Solution? Fill it with concrete. Just tamp down as much as you can.
That solves your biggest problem.
• On to your biggest problem, things made of glass. One time I
slipped on the tile floor and went elbow first through an aquarium full
of fish, which broke. Just kidding, it was actually an aquarium full of
newts. But didn’t fish sound cooler?
Solution? Hide your glass where no one can find it, like in the closet, or
the trunk of your car. That solves your biggest problem.
• On to your biggest problem - electricity. Have you ever been
zapped? Like spicy air, it tingles in places you didn’t know you had,
even your dingles. One time I was washing the dishes in an electrical
storm and I was faintly electrocuted when lightning struck near my
apartment. As if I needed a reason to not want to clean.
Solution? Smear yourself with Vaseline, you’ll be too slippery and
the electricity won’t be able to catch you. That solves your biggest
problem.
• On to your biggest problem - stairs. Son of a bitch, I hate stairs.
The problem with Tybee (and Tybee only has one problem) is that too
many of the homes have stairs.
Solution? Try to avoid the stairs. I don’t have any real life examples
of how you could be hurt on the stairs but I’m sure they exist. That
solves your biggest problem.
• On to your biggest problem - wolves. That’s right, I said it, you all
want to live in denial but sooner or later wolf attack. You think it won’t
happen to you but it can, and it will. In fact, in a statistic I recently
made up, nearly 93% of Tybee Beachcomber readers have seen
someone who doesn’t read the The Tybee Beachcomber be attacked
by a wolf.
Solution? Smear yourself with Vaseline, you’ll be too slippery and the
wolf won’t be able to catch you. That solves your biggest problem.
I guess the short version is, newts, Vaseline, wolves. In that order.
Tune in next month where I write a story while completely nude.
SUSHI / BOWLS / BUBBLE TEA / SALADS
I N G R E D I E N T S
OPEN TUES - SUN 12 - 9PM 912-499-4178
SMOOTHIES / SANDWICHES / WRAPS / FLATBREADS
I N G R E D I E N T S
OPEN TUES - SUN 10 - 5PM
18 TYBRISA STREET | 912-472-4278
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