Dizzy Deans
Behind the Tape…
By Sgt. Richie Dascall
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | NOV 2020 31
Radio us if you see anything at all. Nothing is inconsequential. We’ll relieve
you guys in a few minutes so ya’ll can say hello to Patch and our prodigal
son, Travis Israel.”
Joey hops to his feet. “WHAT? Travis? Rudy, you got this?” he asks
without waiting for a response. He hops off the tank and runs, full speed,
into the house and into the kitchen.
Rudy watches him go, laughs, and answers Joey only after he is out of
sight, “Yeah man, go. I got this.”
As Joey enters the kitchen, Travis laughs a big belly laugh. “Would you
look at this character?!” Joey doesn’t slow down until he crashes into
Travis and embraces him.
“It’s good to see ya, buddy!” Joey says into Travis’s shoulder then lets
him go. “How the hell did you get onto that boat?”
“It’s good to see you too man!” Travis laughs and looks around the
kitchen. “It’s good to see ALL of you.” His smile fades a bit. “I was down
in the Keys on my annual migration south to escape from the tourons and
spring breakers when the world decided it had enough and turned everyone
into screaming, flesh-eating lunatics. I knew there was a Coast Guard
station on Key West from my old Coast Guard days, so I made my way there
after we got attacked. Hunter didn’t make it and neither did Lady Joey.”
“Damn,” Joey sighs. “That’s two more friends…”
“Hell,” Patch speaks up. “If it wasn’t for Travis here, we wouldn’t have
been able to operate the USS Independence. He was a life saver.”
“Alright, guys,” Tony says. “Let’s all sit down at the table and get this
Q&A over with, shall we?”
“I’ll get drinks and cookies!” Sara pops out of her chair and begins
rummaging around the kitchen.
“You have cookies?” Travis asks, and the smile returns to his face.
“And just what kind of cookies do you think we have here?”
“Oh, YOU KNOW!” Travis says, and winks.
Sara laughs. “Well, I made some mean sugar cookies, but they’re not
spiked.”
“I’ll take what I can get!” Travis says, and takes a seat at the table.
Once everyone is seated, Tony speaks up over the chatter, “Okay, okay,
okay. We need to know. Who’s trying to find you? Who are you running
from? What’s with telling us you are on one boat, but you show up at our
back door on a different boat? What’s the story? We’re in danger, aren’t
we?”
“Aww shit,” Travis says, and takes a quick bite of his cookie. “It’s real
talk time.”
“Yes,” Patch says. “We are in danger. It’s Seth Ott. He’s the problem.”
“The Secretary of Homeland Security? Wait. He’s got to be like 15th in
line to succeed the President.”
“18th actually,” Joey says. “Number 15 would be the Secretary of
Energy.”
“How the hell do you know that?” Sara laughs.
Joey shrugs, “I was home schooled.”
To be continued…
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Happy November to one and all. I hope all of you are getting ready for
Thanksgiving and colder weather. At this point, it seems like things are
finally slowing down and the tourists are being nice enough to give us a
break. But as per usual, once things start to slow down we start to see the
actual crazy people start showing up, and if this year has been an
indicator so far, the looney bin will be overflowing this winter.
So far, this has been the busiest year I’ve ever seen on the island. Even
with everything shutting down across most of the country, we’ve seen
new businesses opening up and being very busy right out the gate, traffic
counts through the roof, and the police and fire departments have had
more work than any of us can remember.
There was no shortage of craziness on the island this year. Twice we
had people walking down Tybrisa naked for no real reason other than they
drank too much. One of the guys who did this was staying at a nearby
hotel and had managed to find his way onto the wrong balcony by the
time we had found him. Before that, he had made the rounds all the way
up Tybrisa, back down towards the pier, and a few blocks on the beach.
Still no discernible reason for any of it, other than too much to drink.
Then just a few weeks ago, another person who had drank way too
much by 9am decided they were going to break into someone’s RV to
sleep. This wasn’t at the campground, it was parked in a neighborhood, in
someone’s yard, on a Monday.
This brings me to my final point that I’m sure you are all tired of
hearing, but lock your doors. Lock your cars, houses, and any outside
sheds or closets. We’ve already seen a lot of car and home break-ins this
year, which isn’t normal until closer to the end of the season. Even if
you’re not concerned that someone is going to try and steal something,
think about how upset you’d be if you woke up and found an unfamiliar
drunk passed out in your living room.
I say it plenty but I want to keep reminding everyone. If you see
something out of place, let us know so we can deal with it.
Have a great Thanksgiving.