LOVE, NOT ACTUALLY
A Love Advice Column by a Boy and a Girl Who Should Not Be Giving Love Advice. Ever.
The Question this month is: How do I prepare for meeting the parents?
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | NOV 2020 33
Girl’s Advice:
When I first met my now ex step father-in-law, I had snuck out of my boyfriend’s house that was right next to his parents’ house and was trying to leave under
the cover of early morning darkness. Well, it had crazy rained the night before and my car was stuck in the mud. As I revved out of the mud pit I was in, I looked
over and my soon to be father-in-law was screaming at me to stop ruining his lawn in a profanity laced tirade that would make my current day self super proud! He
was so mad at me! I finally got traction and tore out of there while the entire family shook their collective fists at me from the front porch. I vowed never to go back.
I did go back, of course, and now here I am. I should have done some serious donuts though, before I left.
If you are at this stage of the game, and you are enamored with your man and want this to go all the way, well you better prep for anything. It is not going to be
easy. 9 times out of 10, Momma is not gonna like you, as you are taking her baby boy away from her and ditto on the flip side with Dad, although he just wants to
make sure you are not already pregnant. Wear something that shows minimal cleavage. Keep the lipstick to a lip balm and try to be sober when you show up. No
pre-gaming! Be pleasant and do not discuss anything about yourself that involves hookers and cocaine (I know this from experience). The most important thing is
to not be yourself. You’re never gonna make it!
Boy’s Advice:
So, she wants you to meet her parents does she? RUN! Guys, listen to me here for a sec. Meeting the parents is the first step to moving in together. Please review
October’s edition of this article. I think I made my point thoroughly enough. Didn’t read last month’s article, go to www.tybeebeachcomber.com and do yourself a
favor.
If you find yourself in a position where you can’t get out of meeting the parents, be very careful. You have to read the situation correctly.
There are exactly 3 types of girls on the planet:
1. The type of girl who wants to piss her parents off at all costs. Are you the asshole that she is going to use to create a situation where her parents believe
she’s making the worst mistake of her life? Just be your normal idiot self and it will work out in your favor, for now.
2. The type of girl that wants to please her parents at all costs. In this case you must be extremely cautious. She thinks you’re the “ONE.”
3. The best type. The kind of girl who doesn’t give a rip what her parents think. No matter how the meeting of the parents goes, you’re still probably getting
laid tonight.
In any case, the best option in handling this situation is to self-quarantine for 2 weeks and hopefully the situation will resolve itself.
/www.tybeebeachcomber.com