SEEING THE
WORLD
THROUGH YOUR
CHILD’S EYES
by Lorna McGrath
One of the keys to creating a calm
and peaceful home is to learn
how to see the world from your
child’s perspective. Maria Montessori
challenged us to ‘follow the child’. To
do this, first we must have a sense of how your
children think, feel, and react.
For example, take this child. He is looking up
and you can tell that he is looking at someone
or something really tall. He is probably looking
up at an adult that he loves. Imagine how the
world looks to him at two or three feet tall. It
looks a lot different than it does to us. Let’s try
to put ourselves into our children's shoes and
understand what it’s like to be so small. From
this perspective adults seem to be giants. Because
of their size and strength, they seem to
be all powerful.
We invite you to do a little exercise. When
your children are asleep, with your parenting
partner, get down on the floor and use your
smartphone to take a video of what the house
looks like from your child’s height. This is particularly
dramatic if your child is very young.
You will notice how different the furniture, the
stove and the kitchen cabinets look. It probably
feels like living in a giant's house? When
children are small, they can feel overwhelmed,
powerless, and without a voice.
As parents, you are not only taller and stronger
than young children, you are the ones who
meet their needs. You say yes or no. You pay
attention or ignore them. As adults, we don't
always understand what our children are trying
to tell us, and our children find ways to get our
attention and communicate their desires by
trial and error.
When they are young, children learn to recognize
the needs of others as well as their own,
to communicate with words, and gain skills
that foster independence. In the beginning
they don’t have words so they cry, smile, or coo.
They don’t even truly recognize that they are
separate beings from their primary caregivers.
As they grow, in addition to words, most
young children communicate their needs with
the adults in their lives through tears, smiles
that make our hearts melt, tantrums, pouting,
and other ways to make themselves heard.
They begin to realize that they have their own
unique voice. They are working to develop respectful
communication, independence, and
the ability to do things for themselves.
As children grow, during the elementary years,
they become even better at communicating.
They are increasingly interested in their peers
and their relationships. They are all about rules
and fairness. They want to make up their own
rules and try them out. They are beginning
to feel their own independence and autonomy.
As parents we start to feel more comfortable
and confident in their ability to make
decisions and handle certain situations on their
own or with a little help from adults.
Adolescence is the middle ground between
childhood and the world of adults. Teenagers
are neither children nor adults. One minute
they are one, next the other. Their bodies are
growing and changing rapidly overnight. They
want to know what their place is in the world
and how they can make a difference. They
become interested in sexuality—their own and
others. They want to try out different ideas to
discover their values and beliefs which may or
may not be the same as their parents.
Every child is unique. No matter what age they
are, some children seem to easily accept their
parent’s guidance while others seem to test
everything their parents say or do. Throughout
their childhood it is their parents' job to
lift them up, listen and try to understand,
help them gain confidence, and find their
own identity.
24 TOMORROW'S CHILD © JANUARY 2021 WWW.MONTESSORI.ORG
/WWW.MONTESSORI.ORG