The P ublisher Po stulates
IT IS NOT PERSONAL
what goes on in another person’s mind?
Not I, and not you.
I have learned to accept rejection, since it
is not due to me personally. Those rejecting
me are doing so, not based on who I am, or
what I am trying to do. They are thinking
about themselves and how the situation or
offer affects them. Some people refuse to
believe they can turn a frog into a princess
by kissing it. So when they refuse to kiss
the frog, it is not personal to the frog, it just
reflects their own belief about the situation.
No one likes to hear the word “no,” but
there is no reason to fear it or consider
it to be an affront. However, even if it
is, so what? Who cares? Move on. Keep
asking until someone says “yes.” But don’t
take offense either. Remember: They are
34 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2021
not saying “no” to you. They are
deciding what they themselves
want to do for their own reasons or
whims unrelated to you. You are not
part of the equation. Others do what
they want, as they want, when they
want, without considering you in the
process. Think how often you do what
you want to do for your own reasons
without considering if someone was
going to view it as a rejection of them.
Their decision is particular to them
and not against you. So don’t take it
personally.
Once you stop letting things
upset you, you will be free from taking
responsibility for things making you feel
badly. So please, do not take this article
personally. It is something of which I had to
remind myself. I thought you might be able
to relate. If you can’t or don’t want to heed
this advice, I will not take it personally. At
least I tried, and that is what matters. 9
Rejection is not easy to accept,
and most of us tend to take
it personally, whether it is a
proposal of marriage, or just a
credit card application. I have learned
the best way to handle rejection is
not to take it personally. What others
do has nothing to do with me. They
are acting due to their personal
opinions, which are unrelated to
me. Most people have great difficulty
making themselves immune to the
opinions and actions of others. But
this “not taking it personally” is the
time-honored cure for many types
of disappointment or feelings of failure.
It does not matter if someone does not
like you, or refuses your offer of friendship.
It is their problem and not yours. If you
invite someone to a party, and they do not
accept your invitation, it does not matter
what their reason is, even if it is based
solely on them not wanting to be around
you. If they do not like you, it does not
prove you are not a good person. You do
not have to be paranoid to have enemies,
nor does having enemies validate their
feelings about you. They may be jealous of
how nice you are, which may be the basis
of their scorn for you. They may see you
as better than they are and choose not to
be in your company because you remind
them of their own failures. Who knows
Publisher / Editor
By Aaron R. Fodiman
Whether I’m given a compliment or a negative
comment, I try not to take either of them personally,
since a positive comment does not validate me as an
individual any more than a negative comment detracts
from my self-worth.
GRAM