HUAMR OT R Galleria
Understanding
Margaret:
Not Webster’s
Definitions
After we get married, many
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2016
| TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE 151
men, such as myself, learn that
they have a slightly different
vocabulary than their wives. It
took me awhile, but I now understand
that some words and phrases that I
thought meant one thing have a much
deeper meaning when Margaret says
them to me. For example, I thought that
when she said, “fine,” that she meant
everything was okay. I didn’t realize
that this was a word she used when we
had a disagreement, and she knew she
was right and I was wrong, but that she
would just let me find that out for myself
when I tried to do it my way. Likewise,
when she said, “nothing,” I believed
she was either saying everything was
alright, or that whatever she was
going to say wasn’t that important; I
had no idea that, “nothing,” was her
way of telling me something and that
I should be worried about it. This was
particularly true when she would tell
me, “Go ahead.” It was not permission,
but rather a dare, and that I should not
do it under any circumstances.
Perhaps the worst mistake I have
made is with the word “whatever,”
which I took to mean she didn’t care
or have an opinion about what I was
about to do. I couldn’t have possibly
known it was her way of saying, “Not
only are you crazy, but you are stupid
too.” However, my most misunderstood
remark was when she would tell me,
“Oh, that’s okay,” as she was thinking,
“Oh, what a mistake that is going to be.”
She knew that there was no end to how
wrong a person like me could be, yet she
allowed me to keep guessing. So, now
I know when she says, “I doubt it” she
really means “He is lucky to be alive,”
due to some of the idiotic things I have
done. At least I think I know what she
means when she says, “I love you;” and
if I don’t, I’m happy she hasn’t explained
it to me yet. 9
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By Aaron R. Fodiman
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