HUAMR OT R Galleria
What Sex Is Your
Computer?
By Aaron R. Fodiman
Unlike many other languages,
English nouns are neither
masculine nor feminine.
However, we tend to think of
many nouns as belonging to one gender
or the other. Most people think of a doll
as being feminine and a gun as being
masculine. Yet no particular gender
is generally associated with a computer.
Therefore, I decided to consider
a variety of factors that I relate to
computers and then apply that
knowledge to determine which sex it
most resembles. I used eight things I
know about computers. It seemed to me
that four on my list were male traits and
four were female traits.
1. If you want a computer to do
anything, you have to turn it on first.
This sounds like a male user to me.
2. A computer has an internal logic that
only its creator understands. This is
feminine from my viewpoint.
3. A computer uses a native language
to communicate with others that can
be difficult to understand. This also
reminds me of a woman.
4. Despite the large amount of data
that a computer can store, it is not
capable of thinking for itself. My wife,
Margaret, assures me this is a male
trait.
5. A computer is lauded for its ability to
solve problems but many times, the
computer itself is the problem. This is
another male characteristic.
6. Every mistake we make is stored in a
computer’s memory and retained for
later retrieval. Women seem to thrive
on this ability.
7. Once you choose a computer, you
realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you may have gotten
something that was much better. I
give this one to men for being more
fickle.
8. After choosing a computer, you
will spend large sums of money to
purchase accessories and other such
additional items for it. This was
close, but I find this to be more true
of women. No wonder we refer to
our computers as it, rather than he or
she. 9
MARCH/APRIL 2017 | TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE 151