The Universal Flow of Giving By Melonie DePalma, Holistic Health Coach
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | APR 2019 35
As I was growing up, my brother and I were raised by a Single Mom who
rode a Harley (in the 80s!!!). She was very active in the Jaycees, and in her
motorcycle groups, Motor City HOG and Great Lakes HOG. We spent time
at shelters feeding the homeless, and most Christmases wrapping gifts for
Toys for Tots. She raised us to be humble and gracious for the gift of breath
each day. I was thankful for that, especially after losing her when I was 18.
To this day it fills my soul to help others.
Contrary to what most people think, researchers at the University of British
Columbia found that people were happier when they spent their money on
others (keep ME in mind). What’s more, there was no difference in happiness
for the people who had $5 to give and the people who had $20 to give. The
act of giving, no matter how big or small, makes us feel good.
Giving has also been linked to lower rates of heart disease and it may even
help you live longer.
But before you rush out to donate all your things to live the tiny life
movement or volunteer in the hope of boosting your happiness, health and
life-span, you’ll need to stop to think about your motivation. The paradox
— that we happen to think is rather poetic — is that givers may only get
these benefits when they’re not seeking them. A study found that giving
for self-related reasons did not bring benefits - only when giving was
altruistic, driven from compassion towards and connection with others, were
individuals more likely to live longer.
Human nature is constantly shaped by an intricate tension between
competition and collaboration, but there’s no doubt that survival of the fittest
was supported by survival of the kindest.
Researchers in social psychology and positive psychology are continuing
to unravel the mechanisms between giving and well-being. However, for
now, if a scientist comes over with an envelope full of cash and asks you to
spend it on yourself, you might want to think about spending it on someone
else instead (again, I AM here for you! lol).
Being generous is the natural side effect of living a happy and fulfilled life.
It is also the antidote for when we feel lost or blue. It can take our focus off
ourselves and make us pay attention to the world around us. It serves both
us and the receivers of our generosity. It is empowering.
While monetary philanthropy is important, it is a narrow way to be
generous. There are many other ways to share with others: Being generous
with our time by building relationships and by helping our neighbors or
volunteering for a cause. Generous in our civility by practicing our manners
and being kind. Most of us in this wonderful community see this happening
on a regular basis. By being generous in our graciousness, we can accept
others’ generosity, and allow others to show their appreciation for you. This
very important part of the universal flow of giving, is receiving.
I had a wonderful roomate for a couple years, both of us coming from a
monetary lower income status in our 30s/40s. Let’s just say all roads we
travel are lessons, even the tough ones. I helped her see the importance of
accepting others’ generosity, and that brought the universal energy flow. She
is a giver, and by allowing gifts from others, has led her to a road of ebb and
flow. Today she is a very successful, happy artist. There is a time for action
and there is a time for allowing.
Studies find, at the Cleveland Clinic, these health benefits associated with
giving:
• Lower blood pressure
• Increased self-esteem
• Less depression
• Lower stress levels
• Longer life
• Greater happiness
This is another slice in the circle of life, so get out there and give back to
this amazing little gift of a community we live in!
Sending gifts of Happiness.