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Communicate about duplicate presents,
amount spent, what time the exchange
takes place, travel arrangements, and
holiday programs at school.
Trying to make up for a divorce with lavish
time and attention. They do not need to
become overtired and overstimulated.
Make things simpler, not more complicated
or competitive. Back and forth between
two households will be hard enough. The
the child experiences. If you do not do a
good job this year, plan for next year and
think how to make it smoother for your
children. Communication with the other
parent is crucial.
Create new traditions. Go caroling, make
cards, visit a nursing home, go to a church
service, set up a luminary, and go see
Christmas lights. If possible, try to do
Christmas Eve or Christmas morning as a
it does help the children to do some events
together like before the divorce happened.
It is also important to respect the other
parent’s traditions.
My children’s father’s extended family
always celebrated Christmas Eve with the
Italian traditions of spinach pie and fried
church. I learned to go to Christmas Eve
service by myself, but I had the thrill of
seeing the children open presents from
Santa. If baking cookies is done at one
grandparent’s house, try to still arrange
for those plans even if it falls on your time.
how well you can communicate with the
other parent, the smoother it can get. Make
your plans simple. Children need down
time to relax and time to play. Remember
to make events and activities appropriate
for the child.
Holidays are about peace and joy.
Happiness is a choice, so decide to
make the most of the changing climate.
Decide to make memories, not purchase
them. Children are forced to divide their
time between two families. Children will
remember the parent who did not talk
badly about the other parent or try to one
up them with lavish gifts.
Choose gratitude and choose to be happy
even though it is not the family of years
before. Your situation has changed, so
change with it. If negative comments are
made about the other household, the child
will not agree with you but internalize that
there is something wrong with themselves.
Children will blame themselves. The moral
of the story is put your feelings aside to
make this a wonderful time and make
exchanges pleasant and upbeat.
The child will pick up on your positive
energy and try to make the most of this
and equilibrium they need and appreciate
the good that each parent brings to the
table. There will be many more events
in your child’s future where both parents
will be included like birthdays, school
programs, graduations, weddings, and
having grand babies etc. It is better to get
along now with the other parent.