Chronic Lyric-osis
Better Known as What Song Did I Just Ruin?
TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JUNE 2019 17
By Alaina Loughridge – with a lot of help
Just the other day I was listening to ‘Til Tuesday sing their only hit Voices Carry. I have been listening to this song for at least 25 years. Was minding my own
business when I misheard the lyrics. It should have been “Oh, shush, even downtown, voices carry.” What I did hear was the real lyrics I have been singing
wrong for a good portion of my life - “Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry.” Whatever! I sing it how I want to! That got me thinking though. How many
other classics have I been mishearing all these years? I decided to start asking around the neighborhood. I was relieved to find out that I am not the only person
with Chronic Lyric-osis and some of the responses I got are hilarious! Read on …
• Lil Deb Sharpe had some of the best: “Two Chickens to Paralyze” by Eddie Money (Two Tickets to Paradise) and “Bathroom on the Right” by Creedence
Clearwater (Bad Moon on the Rise).
• Jacob Jackson had us all laughing with “Hit Me with Your Pet Shark” by Pat Benatar (Hit Me with Your Best Shot).
• Hollie Sessoms was another giggle with “I’m Not Big on Sausage Breakfast” by Garth Brooks (I Got Friends in Low Places).
• Jimmy Prosser was not to be outdone with “Dirty Deeds Thunder Chief” by AC/DC. Makes perfect sense to me.
• It was generally agreed by all that Elton John is the worst with “Hold Me Closer Tony Danza,” “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down on Me,” Rocket Man’s “Walking
down the street of Hong Kong along” and something about “Momma Nell” in “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues.” Sigh. Oh, Elton.
• The most annoying of all of these ditties won hands down is by Manfred Mann’s “Blinded by the Light.” Seriously for years I thought it said “Wrapped up like
a douche, another rumor in the night.” Glad Google finally cleared that one up for us!
So many songs that have been misunderstood are out there waiting for us to discover. I believe there is a website for us people that need assistance. Might
ruin your entire day, but that is what the internet is for, kids! For those of you that refuse to believe, rock on, my friends!
Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, does anyone really know “Who Let The Dogs Out?”
Shout out to Wen McNally for giving me the official diagnosis of our problem. Chronic Lyric-osis. Who knew?