Its already June, the season is in full swing. Memorial Day has already
happened. Beach Bum Parade has come and gone ... hopefully everyone
had a blast.
As a cab driver, I am asked a lot of the same questions. One of my
favorites is, “Do the police mess with you much?” I have an arsenal of witty
answers for this question. Breezy is on the road 24/7, so our exposure
is high, but the true answer is no they do not. Having said that, we are
not out there disrespecting or disobeying the law. Our police force have
enough to deal with. Every summer the police all around the country have
these random check points, safety checks, DUI check points, whatever
you want to call them. (FYI, you should never drive under the influence.)
Couple summers ago I was headed to Savannah to pick up a local
birthday girl, her boyfriend and two of her friends from outta town. I got
to Bryan Woods Rd. and Hwy 80 and Boom! A check point. I pulled up,
showed my driver’s license, all was good, and I was on my way. I arrived
downtown to find my group of four that had grown to a group of six.
Legally my car can only carry 4 passengers, but I say leave no soldier
behind. I loaded them up and told them about the check point in case ...
well you know. I figured we would go Johnny Mercer instead of 80, with
there being a chance of no check point. WRONG!!! We got to Bryan Woods
Rd. and there was GSP, Chatham County, Armstrong University, and a
whole bunch of K9s. This scene always makes my heart rate increase, but
when you know you’re bending the rules, you can see my heart beating
in my neck.
I crept up slowly, as one officer was telling me to speed up, while
another was telling me to slow down. I stopped at the officer in charge.
She was a little chick with a big attitude. She was very displeased with
the number of passengers I was transporting. I used to keep a blanket
between the front seat, so when someone was sitting there it was a bit
more comfortable. We called it the Bunger Seat.
“Oh my gawd! That ain’t even a seat she is in. Pull over, I smell alcohol.”
“No shit! We just left a bar, that’s why we are in a taxi.”
She then asked, “How many people do you have in there?” I answered,
“Do the ones in the trunk count?” (Sometimes I just can’t help myself.)
They asked for all of our IDs. Why they wanted my passengers was
beyond me, but I supposed they had the authority.
Some of the IDs came with commentary: “Hey, I am on parole.” “Hey,
mine are suspended.” She asked, “Why are you telling me this?” “Just
don’t want any surprises. Just so you know.” Of course, I was asked to
step behind the vehicle. I was getting the third degree from a couple of
sergeants, while they told me, “Oh, you thought you’d get that extra $20
by stuffing the vehicle, huh?” I explained to them that that was not the
case. The charge was the same regardless of how many people, and
these guys were also my friends and I didn’t want any of them driving to
Tybee.
I received two tickets, basically for the same thing - unsafe vehicle and
too many people in the vehicle. These were my first traffic tickets in about
20 years. Whatever. Then they told me that I have to leave ... yeah, leave
two of my passengers behind. What?? So we called an owner of a North
end bar. Yes ... he was home and most likely sleeping (we will call him
ET). ET agreed to come and get two of my passengers. However, I didn’t
want to just leave them standing on the side of the road. We would wait.
No, we wouldn’t. The cops insisted we leave them behind and proceed
to Tybee.
30 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JUNE 2019
By Ron Goralczyk
Everyone needed cigarettes, so we stopped at a store on Wilmington.
After we finished in the store and got back outside, there was ET and the
two left-behind passengers. They got out of his car and got back in the
cab. I went from six to four and back to six again. We were on the right
side of the roadblock, so back to Tybee we went.
My court date arrived. It was a 1pm court session. The courtroom was
full and the Honorable Judge White was filling in for the day’s proceedings.
Right off the bat I could tell this was a fair judge. I don’t know if his lunch
was exceptionally good or if he had one fantastic afternoon delight; either
way he was in a great mood. He was dropping speeding tickets down
10-15 mph, having college students write 2000 word essays in lieu of
fines ... completely fair. By the time I was called up, I was feeling relaxed
and confident.
I had been in the courtroom my fair share of times, and have made
some pretty idiotic statements. I have dropped the “F” bomb in traffic
court, and I made a really bad joke in family court once. Sometimes I can’t
help myself, I love to make people laugh.
“Mr. Goralczyk, I see that you have a very clean driving history.” I
replied, “Yes sir. The last twenty years, the first few not so much.” The
judge pondered my case and said, “Mr. Goralczyk, I don’t understand
what was unsafe in your situation.” I explained that the Crown Vic will
legally sit four people, not six. I also explained that they were my friends
and I did not want anyone to drive, even though I knew I would be going
back through that checkpoint. He asked if any of the passengers that
night were in court with me today. Okay, pressure was on. Should I make
a joke or just simply answer ‘No Your Honor?’ So I said, “No Your Honor, if
you get too many Tybee people in the same place, a party is likely to break
out.” He laughed. I laughed. The courtroom laughed. Finally! Laughter!
His response was, “Okay, I am going to drop this one ticket all together
and drop the other for Too Fast for Conditions. No points will be on your
record.” He added, “I don’t care how many drunk people you put in your
cab. You are keeping the streets safe and providing a public service.” I
thanked him and said, “You can judge me anytime, Your Honor!”
Dizzy Deans
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