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Lessons & Letters
DON’T STOP...EVER!
Usually, by this time of the month, something has happened or has been said or heard or felt that
would have inspired me to sit down and write. The Lessons and Letters part of this publication truly
is a “Give it to God” thing each month. Never knowing what the final words will be until they go to
print can be a little nerve wracking every thirty days. I’m not the person who enjoys writing about the
seasons or the meaning of Christmas. Instead, I wait for something to truly touch me. And then I sit on
it, pray on it and then write about it. But since the last issue of Moxxie Magazine, nothing has ignited that
fire in me.
So, with this on my shoulders, and the Lessons and Letters being the only piece of this issue that needs to be laid
out so we can finally go to print, I began trying to dig for something… for anything to write about. I even considered putting in
something I wrote 20 years ago when I was a lost and lonely backpacker, but none of that felt good or right.
And then, while sitting at a red light after dropping my daughter off at school, with a little ask from the Universe to clear my
head and push reset… it hit me. And so here it goes.
This time last year, like exactly at this time last year, my very close and tight knit family began to unravel. Like the tiny fibers of
a strong rope ripping and fraying apart like split ends, my family was quickly losing our grip on one another. For those of you
that know my family, The White’s, I think you would all agree that we are a uniquely close family and everyone who meets us,
immediately wants to become a member of the family. However, in November of 2018, like watching a pyramid of cards fall in
slow motion, the White family was crumbling the same way. One card after the other until they all lay flat and scattered on the
floor. Some face up, some face down. The family that I knew to be so strong and undefeatable had now become defeated…
from within. This time last year, my family was experiencing the hardest moments we have ever had.
Here we are one year later, and it’s truly incredible to look back and witness God’s mysterious ways. It’s mind chilling how
much can change inside of one year. Thinking back and then jumping forward, I realize that my family wasn’t ripping and
fraying apart, instead we were like a snake shedding it’s skin. My family was outgrowing itself and yet we were never willing to
shed the dead skin. We were not allowing ourselves to grow independently and instead we were walking through our lives as
if we were all a packaged deal. It’s taken a year for my family to find its new way and it hasn’t been easy for all of us, but it is
so rewarding and full of blessings. Learning that siblings are not supposed to live together forever or take care of each other
to the point of enablement is a hard punch of reality, but it is a truth. Parents are not supposed to take care of their children
forever, period. We must learn as individuals that we need to grow as individuals and not anything more than that. It took
my family 40 years to realize this, and the growing pains were very painful. But now, one year later, we are all growing and
shedding our own skin.
I suppose at the end of the day, this experience has taught me that although family is so incredibly important, there are
critical times in our lives where we must step out on our own. We must choose to own ourselves and own our convictions
and failures, despite what members of our family will say or feel. There are serious moments where we must stand tall and
become stronger on our own. Even if those moments require us to stand alone, naked and cold as the wind beats our faces
and the rain whips our trembling bodies like tiny needles piercing through our epithelial and down to our core. In the end, the
storms will past, the blood will dry, and scars will heal. We will survive and become better people because of it.
Don’t stop growing. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from YOU! Don’t stop loving yourself. Don’t be afraid to want
more, because you are more. Don’t be afraid to shed your skin as often as you want. Don’t Stop…Ever.
Always Thankful,
Nikki White
/turquoiseelephant.com