All right, I must give our regular monthly readers an update on the latest fun
ride. If you remember from a couple months ago, Joey wrote a story about
the Mythical Fun Ride. He failed to mention that the one time I would have
done it, I would have done the most perfect figure eight with 5 passengers,
nobody would have spilled a drop, and a cop named Dusty would have pulled
up seconds after the dust would have settled. Yeah, that’s how my story
would go.
So, like the Monday after Joey’s article came out, I got a call from Fuzzy
telling me he just got a call from a security company working the North
Beach. Will Smith was filming. We had a car in the parking lot doing donuts,
or fun rides like we would call them, if that really happened. Fuzzy told me
that the security guy was calling the TIPD.
I called the security guy to apologize. He told me he had the best picture
of the driver and a car load of passengers smiling from ear to ear - doing
donuts. I wanted to ask for the picture but I didn’t want my apology to sound
insincere. So no picture. Ten minutes later a TIPD shows up at my house
(I don’t know why but my hands automatically went above my head when
this happened). I immediately started apologizing to the officer. I told him it
wasn’t me and I had no idea what our driver was thinking. I did mention that
there was a rumor that Breezy had done that in the past. I assured him that
was the first car with Breezy on the door that had ever committed such acts.
The officer was extremely understanding and polite. He gave us fair warning.
When I called my little fun ride driver and asked him wtf were you thinking,
he said, “Was that wrong? I’m sorry.”
Recently I picked up a group of 8 at Crab Shack. When there is that many
on a pick-up, it almost always takes time to get everyone to the bus. The first
four got on. They recognized me from the article and told me how much they
enjoyed the article. I’m always humbled by that. Never would I have thought
I would enjoy telling my stories in print. My 9th and 10th grade English
teacher, Ms. Schwartz, would never believe it. Anyway, we were waiting for
the rest of the group and I was telling the lady and gentleman that had
already loaded up that I was having a hard time coming up with new stories.
I feel like you all have settled down or I have become completely immune to
the shenanigans of my night shift. The rest of the group showed up. The last
one to climb on board told me one of the Breezy drivers had almost ran his
kid over. He told me that when he confronted our driver, he was told to get
the f away from the car!
Me... “WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?” Honestly I thought - no chance. Our drivers
don’t go speeding through parking lots. I could tell by the reaction from the
other passengers, the guy was full of it. He told me what car it was and I
assured him I would get to the bottom of the situation. He told me he would
deal with the driver himself. I told him to pack a lunch (we all look smaller
sitting down). I called Stephen to ask what had happened at the Shack. I
always ask my drivers what happened. Stephen’s story made perfect sense.
The following night I picked up my good friend, Rob, from home. We were
in the bus and he was riding shot gun. I informed him we were swinging by
the wedding chapel to pick up a small group. Small group turned into a full
load. Two or three destinations, but all in the same direction. Rob was cool
and patient, it was still faster than a golf cart ride, and he never complains.
Ten minutes later we finally rounded up the last of the group.
32 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JUNE 2018
By Ron Goralczyk
Jamie, evidently the princess of Mid Georgia, got to the second step of the
Breezy Bus and says, “This is a real hot box.” I said, “Hey, get in and sit down
so we can bounce!” She looked at Rob and asked, “What’s your name?” He
said, “Robert.” She fell in his lap. We took off for 6th Street. One stop now,
everyone was going to the same address. The princess was more than frisky
and vocal about her intensions with Robert and Ronald on the way. I heard
her husband ask if she even knew he was on the bus. I heard him. She kept
telling Rob that she was sweaty from dancing all night, “I’m sorry if I’m
wetting your lap. It’s not pee its sweat. I’m going to motor boat you Robert.”
We arrived at 6th and she stood up. Rob said, “Ron, she pissed on me.
You need a story Ron? She pissed on me!” I gave Rob a ride to my house so
he could clean up, gave him a pair of shorts, bought him a pack of cigs and
comped his ride. I also made him two pounds of potato salad. Totally worth
it. His words not mine.
Please never drink and drive. Go Breezy 912-665-9988.
IT’S A TYBEE THANG!
KARAOKE WITH JOANN THURS-SUN @ 9PM
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1517 Butler Avenue
912-786 - 0121