Life’s a Beach Events
What’s happening in June
6-1 First Friday Family Frisbee 6-8pm at Memorial Park. Meet
up at the YMCA for pick-up. Ultimate Frisbee in the park. Free to the
public. Call 912-786-9622 for more info.
6-2 & 6-3 The Great American Trailer Park Musical 7:30 pm on
6-2 and 3pm on 6-3 at The Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne Ave.
Don’t miss this hilarious stage musical. For all events go to www.
tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
6-1 IMPROVHUB Showtime! 7:30-9:30pm at the Tybee Arts
Association, 7 Cedarwood Ave. For all events and information, call
Tybee Arts Association, 912-786-5920.
6-2 March For The Ocean 9am-12pm at Tybee Pier and Pavilion.
Make signs on protecting the ocean and for on the March, or
volunteer to help clean the beach. Free to the public. Contact www.
tybeecleanbeach.com or email tybeecleanbeach@gmail.com for
further info.
6-4, 6-11, 6-18, 6-25 Tybee Island’s Farmers & Artisan Market
4-7pm every Monday through October at 30 Meddin Dr. Fresh veggies
and artistic treasures will be available. Don’t forget to shop local.
6-8 & 6-22 Sunset Tours At the Lighthouse at 30 Meddin Drive.
Experience the after-hours tour and the view of Tybee. Call 912-786-
5801 for more info.
6-9 Tybee City Limits: Americana Throwdown w/The Train
Wrecks & Abe Partridge 8pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne
Ave. Americana Blues Bands at their best. For all events go to www.
tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
6-15 Skate Night at the Y 6-8pm at the YMCA gymnasium, 204
5th St. Call the YMCA at 912-786-9622 for more info.
6-16 “All About Savannah,” a Barbershop Musical 7pm at
Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne Ave. Savannah’s 13th Colony Sound
will take you through the good ol’ days. For all events go to www.
tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
6-16 Movies in the Park – 2018 Series 8:30-10:30pm at
Memorial Park. Movies from June through August, every 3rd Saturday
of the month. Free Willy is the starting film of this yearly event. Free
to the public. Don’t forget your chairs and/or blankets.
6-22 Stardusted Circus! 7pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne
Ave. Bring on the Carnival with The Stardust Pixxies and the all-new
young Pixxie Proteges! For all events go to www.tybeeposttheater.org
or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
6-25 TIPD VIP Luncheon-Neighbors Helping Neighbors 11am
to noon at the Cafeteria. If you need some assistance or want to help,
contact Richard Dascall at 912-484-8833 for further info.
6-29 Underhill Rose 8pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van Horne Ave.
Americana music with wonderful harmonies. For all events go to www.
tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
6-30 Salute to Southern Rock 8pm at Tybee Post Theater, 10 Van
Horne Ave. Southern Rock Tribute to our military vets. For all events go
to www.tybeeposttheater.org or call for further info at 912-472-4790.
36 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JUNE 2018
By Mom
The Five Second Rule
By J. Beebs
The other weekend I found myself trapped in a shopping mall, attempting
to keep up with my daughter and wife. I decided after two stores that I’d be
a much happier father if I didn’t know what they were spending or how long
it took to find it. So I abandoned my power shoppers in favor of one of those
comfy massage chairs in front of Sears.
Any rate, I’m lounging in the chair, feeling sort of lucky that I managed
to score one of these huge comfy chairs instead of the hard bench that a
couple of other Dads had to deal with. I’m contemplating whether I want to
stick a dollar in this pig of a machine for five minutes of “amazing electronic
massage,” when I was interrupted by a couple of teenage girls who were
skipping out of Sears, laughing and giggling. But all their happiness was
instantly destroyed when one of them dropped her churro. I can see it now
in my mind’s eye – this happy, giggling girl and the look of pure terror that
crossed her poor face as her churro fell just out of reach, spinning … sugar
glistening as it fell, landing with a soft splat on the floor. But the look of terror
and dismay was instantly replaced by a look of triumph, as she cackled, “Five
Second Rule” while snatching the offending churro up off the floor and taking a
giant bite of it. Both girls burst into laughter and continued on their merry way.
I was instantly mesmerized. Because we all know what the five second rule
is. I remember when my sister and I went on the longest car ride in the history
of our short lives to the Grand Canyon. We started in Phoenix, Arizona, happy
and laughing, and zoomed off with the air conditioning on epic blast and not
a care in the world. Three hours later, after traffic, the air was still on FRIGID
ICE MAKING CONDITIONS, but we could barely feel it. We were hot, sweaty,
and cranky and we both had to pee. Our promising road to adventure and the
Grand Canyon had twisted us through an outer layer of hell, and I was certain
the desert was radiating poisonous smoke as we navigated the bones of fallen
travelers and scorpions. At some point, we finally arrived at a Visitor’s Center
and we dragged ourselves across the parking lot, taking small gasps of air like
fish in oxygen poor water, as our sneakers melted on the asphalt. We dragged
ourselves in to the visitor center and spent $278 on two ice creams and two
waters, and we were never so happy to spend that money. WE WERE ALIVE!
But on the way back across the parking lot, while our ice cream was rapidly
melting by the second, my sister’s ice cream slipped off the cone and landed
with a wet splat on the pavement. And to her credit, she didn’t hesitate. She
grabbed the scoop right off the melting pavement and slammed it into her
mouth. “FifeSeconfRul,” she explained through a mouthful of dirty ice cream.
Five second rule indeed. For those of you not familiar with this observable
fact, the five second rule is a universal law that allows for a defined period of
time where it is possible to pick up food after it has been dropped and exposed
to contaminants. But the best part of the five second rule is that there really
are no rules or explanation of when you can and cannot do it. And surprisingly,
it’s one of those things you can’t really plan for. Sort of like Life – if just
happens. Even when you think you have a perfect plan in place, the right set of
circumstances comes along and you find yourself going rogue with no plans at
all. The decision to enact the five second rule just happens, like a mysterious
force of its own, in a spare microsecond. Which is how ice cream gets scooped
off pavement and churros get recovered from mall floors.
Now if you’re like me, you’re now subconsciously thinking of food that you
would never enact the five second rule for. And I thought I had the perfect item:
gum. I mean who is going to grab chewed gum after it pops out of your mouth?
So I conducted my required research at the pub, and you would be amazed at
the stories. Soccer players kick gum back into their mouth. Kids throw gum
right back in their mouth when it pops out. One my buddies just traded chewed
gum with his brother. Whatever.
The Five Second Rule has quite a following. Mel Robbins, of CNN fame,
recently released a book called The Five Second Rule. Now I’m not going to
lie – I haven’t read the damn thing as that’s a few too many words for me
and I don’t really care about any of the three letter news channels. But I do
understand that she is famous for saying such gems as “hesitation is the
kiss of death” and “you can’t control how you feel.” Hey, I can relate! Who
knows, maybe I would pick an up an enchirito off the Taco Bell floor in the right
conditions. After all, no risk – no reward, right?
The real question is: will you?
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