What in the
Vicennia is Going On?
By Alaina Loughridge and Gage McKnight
Our staff meetings are always hugely entertaining: Full of productivity
and epiphanies and lots of alcohol! We get our best ideas from just
talking trash and this day was no different. Sitting around our three
empty bottles of champagne, discussing the hype surrounding this end
of a decade, it occurred to us that this hasn’t been an issue before. Why
this decade? Why not this Vicennia? The last 20 years? Why is 2010
to 2020 more spectacular than the 10 years prior to that? We are in a
century no one has been before. So, we Googled the top 20 stories in
history from 2000 to date to see what the universe/internet thought the
main highlights were. Prepare for disbelief and disappointment with a
few reminders of stuff we all try to forget. This is in order:
1. September 11, 2001 - This should be first and never, ever forgotten
through every decade.
2. London Bombing - 2005
3. Michael Jackson died - 2009
4. Mumbai Attacks - 2008
5. Hurricane Katrina - 2005
6. Barrack Obama Elected President - 2008
7. Iran Protests - 2009
8. Burger King Creates Chicken Fries - 2005 (no, we are not lying)
9. Economy Collapses - 2010
10. Boston Marathon Bombings - 2013
11. Green River Killer Caught - 2001
12. BTK (Bind Torture Kill) Killer Caught - 2005
13. Michael Jackson Molestation Trial - 2003
14. Osama Bin Laden Killed - 2011
15. Pluto is not a Planet - 2006 then Pluto is a Planet - 2019
16. Saddam Hussein Captured - 2003
17. Disney Buys Marvel Entertainment - 2009
18. Ronald Reagan Dies - 2004
26 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JAN 2020
19. Virginia Tech Mass Shooting - 2007
20. Sandy Hook Elementary Mass Shooting - 2012
Well now, we got another bottle of champagne and decided there was
a whole bunch of stuff that list excluded, so we made our own on top of
that one and it is as follows and in no particular order, and it’s more than
20 – complain to management:
1. Y2K - 2000 - The entire planet was in a hysterical meltdown. If
it hadn’t been for Prince’s 1999, we never would have made it
through!
2. Prince Dies - 2016
3. Hurricane Matthew - 2016
4. Hurricane Irma - 2017
5. Dark Knight Rises Theater Shooting in Aurora, CO by James
Holmes - 2012
6. Heath Ledger Dies - 2008
7. I Phone is Created - 2007
8. Face Time in I Phone IV Created - 2010
9. North East Black Out Effecting 8 States & Canada - 2003
10. Kate Spade Commits Suicide - 2018
11. Robin Williams Commits Suicide - 2014
12. Paul Walker Dies in Car Crash - 2012
13. Donald Trump Elected President - 2016
14. Nuclear Accident in Fukushima, Daiichi, Tokyo - 2011
15. Mars Rover Launched 06/10/03 and Lands on Mars 07/04/04
16. Elizabeth Smart Rescued - 2003
17. CO and WA First States to Legalize Marijuana - 2012
18. Ariel Castro Arrested - 3 Women Rescued from Years of Captivity,
Cleveland, OH - 2013
19. Steve Jobs Dies - 2011
20. Stephen Hawking Dies -2018
21. Most Watched Weddings EVER: William & Kate 2011 and Pippa
Middleton’s Ass then Harry & Megan - 2018
22. Haiti Earthquake - Magnitude 7.0 - 2010
23. Malaysia Earthquake & Tsunami - Magnitude 9.3, Wave Height 167
FEET - 2004
Now, we know that’s over 20, but we couldn’t stop and some things need
to be mentioned. I’m sure we have missed stuff and it’s been a long 20
years. So, we decided to do a Top 20 List of what we would like to see
happen in the next 20 years and it is as follows:
1. Don’t’ be an asshole.
two great decades