Merry Christmas!
Book your holiday parties with us,
or let us prepare your Party Platters and Save you
Time this Season! Call or stop in for details.
Please join us
for the Polar Bear Plunge!
Open 7 Days a Week | On the Strand Across from the Pier
SpankysBeachside.com | 912-786-5520
Take Out Available | Full Menu Online
4 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JAN 2020
BAD ADVICE
FLOR-IDIOT
Florida Living Update
By Jimmy Prosser
FROM A
If you’re reading this call 911, because Alaina has murdered me for
forgetting my dead line (by four days, not a huge deal). In my defense,
Florida is in a different time zone - which is an excuse I tried on her. It
did not work.
Anyway. Jacksonville is insanely different than Tybee. For starters,
Jacksonville is 874.64 sq. miles and is the largest city, by land area, in
the US. Tybee, is probably like 14th or 15th. I don’t know, google it.
There is traffic bloody everywhere. Seriously. So much. I haven’t even
run to the grocery store without my GPS because I never know which
way is going to be the quickest home. Also, we have dozens of grocery
stores - 17 Walmarts, 15 Publix stores, the list goes on and on. Also,
there’s fast food everywhere, so I never have to eat Arby’s again.
I don’t miss the beach. I know, I know. I’m only 15 minutes from it now
and I haven’t gone to look at it once. Also, I can’t find a bar, like a good
bar, like a Quarter, or a Wind Rose. The part of town I’m in is new, so
everything around me is new as well. No one has built a dive bar. It
breaks my heart.
Also, none of you ass hats have come to visit me, except Chelsea. You
know, from the Food Spy, the one who cuts my hair.
Anyway, I’m alive and well unless I’m not, just ask Alaina. Also, this is
what it looks like when you write an article in nine minutes. Not bad,
eh?
Ttyl.
Xoxo, Jummy
• Editor’s note: Please do not attempt to visit Jimmy.
Dizzy Deans
1516 Butler Ave. Tybee Island
Beer, Wine, Fine Spirits,
Craft Beers, Cigars,
Cigarettes, Mixers & More
Mon-Thurs: 10am-10pm
Fri-Sat: 10am-11pm Sun: 12:30pm- 8pm
912-786-4500
/SpankysBeachside.com