The P ublisher Po stulates
MARRIAGE
By Aaron R. Fodiman
often, I did not know what I was saying
at the time. I assured her if something I
said could be taken two ways, I meant
it the way she would have wanted me
to mean it. Likewise, she could tell me
what to do or how to do it, but not both. If
she already knew how to do something, I
would wonder why she didn’t do it herself.
If I asked what was wrong and she said
“nothing,” I would believe her even if I
knew it wasn’t true. I am a peace-loving
man and would rather not argue about
anything. In fact, I would apologize for
anything even if I didn’t mean it because I
don’t like camping and therefore, would be
unhappy if she made me sleep on the couch.
Rarely do I think the same way she
does, and I told her the fewer questions
she asked me, the happier she would be. I
knew enough to say she didn’t look fat, but
there might be some less obvious answers
that I might get wrong, ranging from “I
34 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2020
don’t think we need
to go there,” to “Yes,
you are right; she is an
attractive woman.”
This being said,
I have no trouble
putting up with and
excusing Margaret’s
special requests since
all she really asks of me
is that I treat her as I
should and that I not
do many of the things
I know I should not do
but do anyway. She is
forgiving and loving
to such an extent that I
often feel guilty for not
being a better husband,
even though I do not
have any idea what I
could do to accomplish
that goal.
Hopefully, all of you
are as fortunate as I am in my marital
relationship. If not, think about what you
can do to make it better, rather than what
you think your partner should be doing.
You will have a much better chance to
change yourself than to change him or her.
I could continue to write about this
subject for days on end. But, my final
thoughts at this time for any of you who
are not as enamored with your marriage as
I am, let me leave you with a short poem
I wrote when one of my closest relatives
told me he was unhappy with his wife:
Money’s never mentioned when speaking
of romance. But say the word “divorce” and
you’re talking high finance.
‘Nuff said. 9
Being alone with
my wife for 24
hours a day for six
months because
of COVID-19 eventfully
brought marriage to
mind. I don’t know if I
have a perfect marriage,
but I do know I am happy
and totally dependent on
my wife for everything
from meals to getting
workmen to fix whatever
is wrong around the
house.
My father gave me lots
of good advice before I
got married, most of
which my mother told
me he never followed
himself. He said marriage
is like quicksand in that
you have a better chance
to survive if you don’t
struggle. He also pointed out that a man
who fights with his wife during the day
will have no peace at night.
To make life easier for myself, I tried
to explain to Margaret that I would not
always remember to put the toilet seat
down, but I would put it up and try to keep
everything in the bowl. I also advised her
that subtle, strong and even obvious hints
would be missed by me. If she wanted me
to do something, she would have to ask
me directly. Not that that would ensure I
would do it, but at least it would then go
on the list. I also told her I would likely
answer most questions with a simple yes
or no, and she should not expect to receive
a logical explanation of my answers since
I would not always be correct, even if I
said I was certain.
She was shocked when I would have
no recollection of whatever I had said less
than two days earlier. I explained that Publisher / Editor