By Hollie Sessoms
Getting Rid of the Covid 20
You know you did it. You ate all the quarantine snacks in one go and
then went back for more. Your workout routine turned into switching
between Netflix shows. Pizza and wine became your go-to supper.
And now, you can’t fit into your clothes—even the super comfy
sweatpants are feeling snug. But you had to stay home—home with
all the food—and gyms were closed, who could blame you for putting
on the Covid 20? Not the super-fit lady who still jogs five miles a day
around the neighborhood. No. She would never blame you. I wouldn’t
either.
But now it’s January. January 20-freaking-21. The month we’ve been
hoping and praying for since last March. Everything is supposed to be
better in 2021 and we are too. It’s time to get our butts in gear, slip
into some form fitting spandex, make ourselves a green smoothie,
and get back into fighting shape!
• First off - cardio. Okay. Everyone knows the best cardio is
14 TYBEE BEACHCOMBER | JAN 2021
running. Let’s start off with a 5K. That’s not far, right? Just five of
those little K’s. We can handle that. Anyone know how far a K actually
is? Now that I think about it, if a K is longer than my driveway I don’t
know if I’m up for five of them. Maybe for cardio, we can walk to the
fridge for a beer. Don’t worry, it’s a lite beer. Calm down.
• Push-ups. So, maybe cardio’s not our thing. Totally cool. We all
know that the really buff people do push-ups and stuff to get fit. We
can crank out some push-ups. On our knees, of course. On a really
soft carpet. While we’re down here, it might be nice to lay our head on
the floor and take a little nap. We’re going to need to save that energy
for getting back up again.
• Maybe yoga is the way to go. I mean, it’s basically just stretching.
How hard can stretching be? Yeah…oh wow…pretty freaking hard it
turns out. We’re not looking for hard, we’re looking for the easy going,
chill, super comfortable way of getting into spectacular shape.
• Eating Healthy. Let’s forget all this exercise business for a minute.
We’ve all heard it. Abs are made in the kitchen. We can hone in our
eating and still keep up our couch potato tendencies. This will totally
work. All we need to do is add in lots of green veggies and cut back on
carbs. We have got this! Wait…are there carbs in tacos? How about
margaritas? Is it really so bad to carry around an extra 20 pounds?
You know, there’s really only one thing we need to do to deal with
this Covid 20. Let’s hit up the after Christmas sales for some bigger
clothes. While we’re at it, we’ll start a trend and change the styles—
mumus, drawstring pants, and oversized tees. We have got this
20-freaking-21!