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Lessons & Letters
E
ELEPHANTS, SECRETS AND BRUTAL HONESTY
W
We have all heard the expression, “the elephant in the room,” but how
many m
of us are willing to talk about it? We have all been trusted to not tell
a
secret in our lives and, of course, I’m sure you have secrets of your own.
And An
we have all been put into those uber uncomfortable situations where
being bei
completely honest could hurt someone’s feelings, and so therefore,
we dilute d
the truth to pad the blow. But why do we do these things? Why are
we so so
fearful and uncomfortable to confront these situations? Is it because
of how we w
were raised? Is it the conditioning of one another, by one another,
so it becomes becom
“the norm?” I ,for one, think it’s all ridiculous. If there is an elephant
in in the the room,room I I would w
like to challenge each of you to be the one who points it out. But
point it out in a way that allows everyone else who sees the elephant, but won’t acknowledge it, to become at least partially
comfortable with the fact that stuff is about to be “laid out there.” It’s all about the delivery of your lyrics. Simple and true.
I can tell someone that I love YOU with the emphasis on the word you, and then tell the same person I LOVE you, with the
emphasis on the word love, and the same three words can be received in completely different ways. So, in some ways, finding
that gentle tone is what will determine the outcome of the now discovered “elephant in the room.” Secrets in my life have
always been more damaging than not. I’m not talking about our old juvenile secrets of school crushes and surprise parties.
I’m talking about the secrets that are damaging to keep and damaging to share. They are a candle burning on both ends, and
no matter what, someone is going to get burned. Why do we choose to hold onto these toxic bubbles of information? Why
do we agree to not share, when the side effects of keeping the secrets are more damaging than just letting it go? I challenge
all of you to let go of these secrets, and instead, free them to the rightful parties. Secrets can become this lethal energy,
festering within you, manifesting negative thoughts, decisions, and a way of life. Stop keeping secrets. The bad kind of secrets.
The world can move forward quicker when all the right people have all the information. And I will end with something I have
always believed in and something I practice daily at times, against the will of many people I know, family included. It’s the
practice of being brutally honest. It’s the complete antagonist of “let’s not step on anyone’s toes.” This whole notion of not
being brutally honest because we might offend someone, or it may come across unprofessional is a total rip-off. I would
rather be told with brutal honesty than being told “lightly.” We need to own our convictions and be ok with our truths and
our faults. Again, although the sound of being brutally honest can come across harsh and cruel, the delivery in the honesty is
what will comfort the blow. Find your lyrics, lighten your tone, be in a comfortable and non-judgmental environment. Inhale
deeply and let the person know that they mean something to you, and therefore, being anything less than brutally honest
would be unfair. Exhale slowly and walk away from all these things understanding that everything in this life is temporary.
Always Thankful,
Nikki White