The P ublisher Po stulates
I don’t think of myself as a particularly
compassionate person. I do feel
empathy for others and try to help
where I can, but generally speaking, I
spend most of my time and energy thinking
about what should be done and how to do
it. I am very chore oriented, and feelings
don’t always fall into that thought process.
However, I have noticed that recently, I
am becoming much more compassionate,
not necessarily for others, but rather for
myself. I am beginning to realize that I
should probably be more sympathetic to
me and cut myself a little slack.
Unfortunately, I am like many people I
know in that no matter how understanding
I may be to the problems of others, my
usual response to myself is “Just suck it
up and get on with it.” I tend to demand
more from myself than I would ever expect
from others.
If someone else slows down before a
job is done, I may mumble, but I’ll try to
understand that they are tired, worn out,
or just need a break, yet I generally don’t
give that same leeway to myself. I push
myself beyond my limits and hold myself
to a standard that I have created for myself,
even though everyone else would probably
think I am a little obsessive. I’m beginning
to think they are right. So I’m starting to
allow myself to forgive myself and to lower
my standards and expectations for myself
and for others.
Earlier in my life, I would have thought
this a foolish thing to do. After all, why
shouldn’t we all strive for perfection and
live up to our full potential? Now, I’m
wondering, “What is the difference?” Will
the world change if I stay in bed an extra
hour, or not finish a project on time, or fail
to do something I said I would? Probably
not. I am not that important. I accept that
I am just a mortal human being. I don’t
have to try to be Superman. I can even
start to excuse my failings and accept my
34 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2018
shortcomings. I can find compassion for
myself. I can have sympathy for me. Oh,
what a relief.
The reason I’m telling you this is because
I don’t think I’m the only one with too
little compassion. I believe that most
people have struggled as I have to be
perfect. If they learn to accept that they
are not, and that not being perfect is OK,
then they will be happier in their lives. I
certainly am, now that I have figured out
just how imperfect I am. Give yourself a
break, and let some of your compassion
apply to you. Forgive yourself for being
less than perfect, and grant yourself the
feelings of compassion you have for others
to yourself. 9
Publisher / Editor
COMPASSION
By Aaron R. Fodiman
Having compassion for myself, I parked here as the sign instructed,
as I was clearly an “Unattended Stroller.”
GRAM