I don’t think of myself as a particularly compassionate person. I do
feel empathy for others and try to help where I can, but generally
speaking, I spend most of my time and energy thinking about what
should be done and how to do it. I am very chore oriented, and
feelings don’t always fall into that thought process. However, I
have noticed that recently, I am becoming much more compassionate,
not necessarily for others, but rather for myself. I am beginning to
realize that I should probably be more sympathetic to me and cut
myself a little slack.
Unfortunately, I am like many people I know in that no matter how
understanding I may be to the problems of others, my usual response
to myself is “Just suck it up and get on with it.” I tend to demand more
from myself than I would ever expect from others.
If someone else slows down before a job is done, I may mumble, but
I’ll try to understand that they are tired, worn out, or just need a break,
yet I generally don’t give that same leeway to myself. I push myself
beyond my limits and hold myself to a standard that I have created for
myself, even though everyone else would probably think I am a little
obsessive. I’m beginning to think they are right. So I’m starting to allow
myself to forgive myself and to lower my standards and expectations
for myself and for others.
Earlier in my life, I would have thought this a foolish thing to do.
After all, why shouldn’t we all strive for perfection and live up to our
full potential? Now, I’m wondering, “What is the difference?” Will
the world change if I stay in bed an extra hour, or not finish a project
on time, or fail to do something I said I would? Probably not. I am not
that important. I accept that I am just a mortal human being. I don’t
have to try to be Superman. I can even start to excuse my failings and
accept my shortcomings. I can find compassion for myself. I can have
sympathy for me. Oh, what a relief.
The reason I’m telling you this is because I don’t think I’m the only
one with too little compassion. I believe that most people have struggled
as I have to be perfect. If they learn to accept that they are not, and
that not being perfect is OK, then they will be happier in their lives. I
certainly am, now that I have figured out just how imperfect I am. Give
yourself a break, and let some of your compassion apply to you. Forgive
yourself for being less than perfect, and grant yourself the feelings of
compassion you have for others to yourself.
I’m not myself today and everybody has noticed the improvement 97