I’m a talker, not a listener; but I really am sincerely trying
to change. My wife Margaret complains that I don’t listen, at least
that is what I think she says. I have often been reminded
that we have been given two ears and only one mouth, so that we
should be able to listen twice as much as we speak. But,
somehow, that concept seems to have escaped my attention.
It has taken me a long time to get the message. I am also beginning
to understand that it is not a coincidence that the words “listen” and
“silent” are composed of the same letters. Although I pride myself
on being a multitasker, I now realize that I can’t give my full attention
to what others are saying if I am talking. I also must admit that,
even when I am not talking, I am not necessarily listening because I
am too busy thinking about what I will say when whoever is speaking
takes a breath.
Once I realized how much I spoke and how little I listened, I
became somewhat embarrassed. I had thought I was fascinating, and I
certainly knew which subjects I wanted to talk about. However, I had
not realized how much I was missing by precluding others from sharing
their thoughts and ideas.
Even though I’m trying, I have not yet mastered the art of listening.
My sister Martha chides me to be “interested,” rather than “interesting,”
when I speak with others. But since this requires me to take the spotlight
off myself, I instinctively rebel against the concept. However, I
have been amazed by how easy it is to persuade someone with your
ears. Silence is a hard argument to refute and often is more eloquent
than words. Now, instead of filling awkward lulls, I try to keep
my mouth shut with a smile on my face until someone else breaks the
silence.
Unfortunately, the only drawback from my effort to listen more and
speak less seems to be that when I’m quiet, those around me want to
know if I’m okay. They become concerned that I must not be feeling
well if I’m not controlling the conversation. Even so, as I continue to
seek mastery over my life in this area, one of the most interesting discoveries
for me has been how much others appreciate being allowed to voice
their ideas, thoughts and beliefs. With my new philosophy that the
less said the better, I’m finding myself relaxing more and enjoying not
being the one responsible for keeping the conversation going. Best of
all, I believe that my experience is fairly universal and that most of us
need to listen more and speak less. Having reached this conclusion, I feel
that I have made a miraculous conversion of great magnitude. On
the other hand, few seem to notice the change. I guess that holding my
tongue is still not one of my accomplishments.
I’m not myself today and everybody has noticed the improvement 31