“AARONISMS”
Philosophy through Truth
I often blurt out things that I think are funny in the middle of serious
conversations. My friends have begun to call them “Aaronisms.” I think
they use the word as a compliment. But, as I do it primarily to amuse myself
or to lighten the mood and relieve tension that might be building up as
the discussion becomes heated, I don’t care. I use humor for a multitude
of purposes from entertaining and helping people feel relaxed to making a
point that can be applied to a discussion without actually dealing with the
specific subject matter of the controversy. I’m fortunate to be able to do so with
relative ease; not necessarily because I’m clever, but more so because I’m so
easily amused and love to change the subject whenever a discussion becomes
uncomfortable. Some I make up on the spot; others I tend to pull up from my
memory bank. Here are a few of my favorites. If you smile when you read
them, there may be something wrong with you, too.
I like to borrow money from pessimists, since they don’t expect to
get paid back.
Did you know that 83.6 percent of all statistics are made up?
At home, truce is better than friction.
I don’t always agree with everything I say.
Anyone who thinks marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t know
anything about women or fractions.
Life is full of miracles, but not necessarily the ones we prayed for.
Rather than learn new tricks, I prefer to become outdated.
It’s easier to let the world turn by itself than to keep trying to push it.
I’m not always right, but I’m usually certain.
Going to a different doctor is like switching slot machines.
If you keep doing what you have always done, you’ll get what you
have always gotten.
Don’t take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
Everyone loves Santa Claus, because he only visits you once a year.
Advice is the worst vice of all.
Anyone who can see both sides of the situation is not involved in it.
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, until you lose.
Money is the best labor-saving device I know.
Cows come and cows go, but bull goes on forever.
I’m not fat, just short for my weight.
There are only three types of people: those who understand numbers
and those who don’t.
Anyone who feels guilty should be ashamed of themselves.
No good deed ever goes unpunished. (I say this almost daily.)
As you can see, there is a certain irony in the truth.
I’m not myself today and everybody has noticed the improvement 103