January/February • 2021 • GASPARILLA MAGAZINE 39
Getting to ‘yes’
At some point a shift in life tends to
happen, a time when one may feel ready
to experience happiness again. When that
happens, though, it can also come with
being burdened by guilt, or by a wakeup
call. Perhaps one’s guilt stems from the
chance they have a chance to feel happy
again without their spouse by their side, or
that they need to speed up their process in
the realization of possibility.
A balance in life makes for a healthy
recovery from grieving. “It can be a natural
guilt phenomenon when you start to feel
happy again,” said Levine. “Sometimes,
it’s good to show that you can continue
on, as a role model for your children and
grandchildren, to show them that death is a
part of life.”
Instead of the idea of moving on, Levine
suggests redirecting your attention.
“There’s so much pressure to move on in
our society,” he said. “It’s important to take
as much time as you need, but I’m a fi rm
believer in distractions. Living in a place like
Florida, we’re not supposed to be inside
and crying all day. Acknowledge and feel
the guilt or grief and then, when the time is
right, let it go.”
Clinical psychotherapist
and Boca Grande
resident Robert Levine
received his law degree
from Boston University
and his clinical social
work degree from Smith
College School for Social
Work in Northampton,
Massachusetts.
He currently lends his ear
and his heart as a therapist
in his time away from the
ROBERT LEVINE croquet fi eld.
From her perspective
For one Boca Grande resident, the loss of
her spouse left her with a dreary perspective
and a sudden fi nancial burden.
Her identity will remain anonymous, but she
wanted to tell her own story.
After spending many years in a loving
relationship with her husband, she felt
helpless as his health was declining. She felt
underprepared and overly anxious.
Above all, she wished she’d received the
right advice.
“Be aware of the care available in your area,
because cost doesn’t always refl ect quality,”
she said. “However, I surrounded myself with
loved ones to help me cope with his passing.”
When asked if she ever still feels his
presence, she answered without a moment’s
thought.
“No, actually. He’s where he’s meant to be
now, and that has given me peace.”
Whether seen through a therapist’s eye or
felt through a peer’s heartbreak, grief and empathy
are universal. For one’s mental health,
it’s best to understand what each emotion is
rooted in. If it happens to you, just remember
that sorrow can one day turn into happiness
once again.