The P ublisher Po stulates
34 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017
Publisher / Editor
Mellowing
By Aaron R. Fodiman
Unlike the ancient Chinese philosopher that I refer to as “Confusion,” I normally began
my journey of enlightenment of 10,000 steps with a push from my wife Margaret.
JOE PHOTO TAMPA
Webster defines “mellow”
as softened and made
gentle, understanding and
sympathetic by age and
experience. I plead guilty to the charge.
I am now mellow, and it did not happen
by any effort on my part. I have already
decided that the title for my next book
will be “I Am Not Myself Today, and
Everyone Has Noticed the Improvement.”
In my youth, which lasted for more than
50 years, between the ages of 15 to 65,
was not always as calm and reasonable
as others around might have preferred.
Some called me intimidating, aggressive,
controlling, unbending, crude, demanding
and overbearing. Others thought that was
an understatement. For me, it seemed the
logical way to get things done.
However, in the past 15 years, I have
suddenly found myself becoming
philosophical, understanding, patient
and forgiving. I had no idea who this
person was that had invaded my body.
I began to wonder how I could get anything
accomplished without having a hissy fit
or screaming at least once a day. I even
began to allow other drivers to do stupid
or careless things without feeling the need
to berate them, like I used to do by banging
on the roof of their cars as they stared in
horror at me.
During that period of my life that I refer
to as my youth, I knew the answers to
everything and cared deeply how things
were done, thinking that there were only
two ways to accomplish anything, my way
and the wrong way. Now I’m not sure
about anything, and worse than that, I’m
not sure it matters what is done, or how
it is accomplished, as it seems to me as
though fate and destiny are the ultimate
players in this game we call life.
Despite the decrease in my passion
for everything else, the one passion that
grows on a daily basis is the love for my
wife Margaret. Each day I rely more and
more on my relationship with her to bring
me the joy of living that I have always
sought. This is particularly startling due to
all the years I spent as a lone wolf attached
to only my immediate family, and even
then, I kept them at a distance. Why I have
developed this need for another is probably
attributable to my failure to mature earlier
in my life, a thing that even government
bonds do within a decade or two.
The self-confessions have a point, and
that is that although I would have once
thought mellowing was the result of
dementia or surrender, I realize that it is
one of the many gifts that come with age
and enlightenment. Since I don’t drink
or use drugs, I never had any chemical
assistance in calming down. What a shame.
Obviously, I clearly could have benefited
from loosening up sooner. In light of this,
I’ve been enjoying a side benefit called
relaxation. I can sit still and do nothing,
and be very content doing so. I love
becoming mellow. It is very soothing once
you let it happen. Please don’t wait as
long as I did to learn these life lessons. 9