HUAMROT R
Things My Mother
Never Told Me
96 TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE
| MAY/JUNE 2016
By Aaron R. Fodiman
Growing up, I received advice from both of my parents.
They each had their own style and viewpoint. My
father’s veered from sarcasm to simple economics,
such as “never lend money, especially not to a friend
and, in particular, not a relative.” My mother’s words were
generally more universal in that they sounded as though they
came from the official list of things you must tell your children,
such as, “I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate.”
At times, I was given advice about everything from what
to eat to how to act in school. Many of these remarks have
lived on in my subconscious mind for over three quarters of
a century. Others went in one ear and out the other, just as my
father believed they would. However, I have discovered that
with a little effort, I can clearly recall my mother never saying
any of the following phrases:
Don’t use a napkin. Wipe it on your shirt.
You can’t see from back there. Move closer to the TV.
Don’t take a jacket. It probably won’t get colder this evening.
Leave the lights on. It’s worth the extra few cents.
Eat whatever you want. It won’t make any difference to your
body.
If you use sunscreen, you won’t get a good tan.
You don’t have to finish your food, as it won’t help others who are
starving.
If your friends’ parents say it is all right, it is all right with us.
Don’t bother calling home. If we don’t hear from you, we’ll know
that everything is all right.
Don’t clean your room. It will just get messy again.
Spend as much money as you want. We’ll give you more if you
want it.
Don’t worry about the speed limit, as long as you feel safe.
You don’t have to take care of your sisters and brother. They can
take care of themselves.
You don’t have to study. School is just a waste of time.
Someday, I hope that you have a child that is totally different from
you.
You don’t have to listen to your babysitter. We pay her enough to
take your abuse.
Of course, this is just a short list of the things I know I never
heard come from my mother’s mouth. What I do remember
her telling me would fill a book. And, had I followed even a
simple majority of them, I would be a far better person today.
However, now that I look back, I think that my father may
have said some of the above statements to me, just to see if I
was listening.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Aaron Fodiman grew up in Stamford,
Connecticut, where his father Yale was also born and raised.
However, his mother Thelma was a Southern belle from New
Orleans and is the one responsible for the softer, more gentle side of
Aaron, as you might have guessed from the above.