HEALTH CARE
GRIEF IN A PANDEMIC
Rafael J. Sciullo
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2020 | TAMPA BAY MAGAZINE 121
Grieving and mourning the death
of a loved one can be one of the
most profound and intense
emotional experiences we will
have. The addition of the pandemic this
year adds yet another layer when dealing
with the grief of losing someone we love
and because it’s something none of us has
ever experienced, it can bring even more
feelings of loneliness and seclusion.
We have witnessed many people who
aren’t able to interact with friends and
family physically during this time – the
hugs, the handshakes, the gentle shoulder
touches. Many have been unable to see
their loved one while they were sick and
dying – or even after their loved one’s
death. And on top of those additional
burdens, some have been unable to practice
their faith traditions and rituals, like
funerals and memorials, or sitting shiva.
For many, these rituals bring great comfort
and healing after the death of a loved one
and the inability to have them makes the
grieving process that much more difficult.
Sometimes, the emotional weight
of our loss can become overwhelming.
We might feel lonely, isolated and don’t
understand that the feelings we experience
are normal. We might feel shock, disbelief,
anger, agitation and are easily frustrated
by others. We may be distracted, spend
time wondering if the death could have
been prevented, or even question our own
spiritual beliefs. All of this can also manifest
in physical maladies like headaches, loss of
appetite, disrupted sleep and exhaustion.
And all of these things are common even
under “normal circumstances.” When we
introduce something like COVID-19 where
many of our outlets and paths to healing
are eliminated or prolonged, the intensity
of our grief can feel devastating.
Empath Health and its member
organizations have found a variety of
ways to help those who are grieving, and
while many of our support groups are
gathering in person again in modified
ways, we continue to find innovative ways
for our community to grieve and connect
with others.
We received a grant from the Pinellas
Community Foundation Senior Citizens
Services for providing Pinellas County
seniors 55+ free mental health counseling
from our trained specialists. We’ve held
online support groups and virtual memorial
services on Facebook Live. We are hosting
a holiday-focused virtual memorial service
November 24. Some of our bereavement
counselors and spiritual care coordinators
created videos that live on our websites
to help you learn ways of self-care and
how to relieve stress. Staff members from
our PACE organization create comfort
kits and deliver them to participants to
help them feel more connected and less
isolated. We partnered with Curlew Hills
again this year to host Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a
grief counselor, educator and author who
virtually presented “Grief Overload” in
October.
While all the feelings you have during
grief are normal, the state of grief is not a
normal place. There are many uncertain
things happening around us all the time
these days, adding layers of complexity to
grief you may be feeling because of losing
a loved one. It is more important than ever
to tune in to how you’re feeling and do
things to care for yourself.
Take walks if you can – any form of
exercise can be helpful to our bodies and
minds. Stay connected to friends and
family through electronic means or do
a “drive-by visit” where you don’t have
to get out of your car if you can’t gather
together. Visit with neighbors from a
distance, setting up chairs in separate
yards and chatting. Take a treat, flowers
or a meal to someone, leaving it on their
doorstep. Doing nice things for others
always lifts our spirits a little. Go to a faith
community service through the internet.
Many churches are offering online services
that bring us connection and meaning.
Consider creating a space just for you, a
space that offers your brain a break.
If you feel overwhelmed and when
emotions begin to unravel, find ways
to calm and self-soothe. If it is a time to
simply mourn, then that might be what you
need to do. You can return to the self-care
activities later.
We want you to know you’re not alone.
If you need grief support or access to
resources, call us or visit our website at
EmpathHealth.org. You can also follow us
on Facebook to learn about upcoming
memorial services and other grief-related
programs. 9
EDITOR’S NOTE: Rafael J. Sciullo is
president and CEO of Empath Health, a
nonprofit integrated network of care for those
affected by chronic or advanced illness. For
more information about services, call (727)
467-7423 or visit EmpathHealth.org.
By Rafael J. Sciullo
/EmpathHealth.org
/EmpathHealth.org